I See Stars

Dusk

2012-02-05T21:08:00.002+07:00

life's been really tear-jerking these days, i hurt the one whom i love so much.

i play some really stupid endless dramas that we both know are unneeded.

time is running out. something's coming closer and the pain feels as real as it could get.

the sun's setting down and everything gets darker and colder.

i'm scared as shit, but i have to embrace myself.

clinging to my faith tightly.

i let his heart slipped out of my clasp slowly.

everything will be okay, self.

thankyou for knowing which's right for your future.

happy 2 years 5 months, sweetheart. i am ready.

Wintriana Januarti

2012-02-02T15:00:00.001+07:00

CHEERS FOR THE TEENAGE YEARS!
happy birthday my dearest Wonder 5, i'm sorry for always being late. wishing to see your face with some make-ups on, since you're old enough to do so now ;) &seriously, dye your gorgeous hair red pleeeeaaaaassseeee.
but i will always love you & support you anyway you are, sweetie. enjoy your youth while it lasts. i hope everything went well and goes along with your plan, i wish you a good health, good laugh, good friends, good lessons, every good things come into your life and stay there forever. i wish all the troubles or questions or problems or anything that gets in your way come into a finish line, so then you can start a new one and grow wiser and better.
always remember to say please and thank you, frequently look up and down to constantly remind you of where you stand. know what you're made of & be tough, i know you're an amazing independent girl :)
come back soon! we need to meet after all this time :p

Bits and Pieces of MMXI

2012-01-18T18:48:00.000+07:00

College Life
here's the part that took over most of my time during 2011. being a college student used to be so much fun. go out until late night every day, plan to study ended up hang out and play around, study group was never boring. freedom become our middle name, and i love every single bits of it. & i thank 2011 for giving me chance to taste it.

Birthday Compilation
oh... birthday... flour, eggs, water bomb, nothing but pure fun over someone's mess. it's always been an exciting time when the date of someone's birthday come near. take a look deeper than just the images, we did it because we care. cause i won't go through such efforts just to throw some dirt over some people (and eventually also got dirty anyway)

Matu's

Aurora, Annes, Naomi, & Imel's

Putbi's

Gathering Pengurus PMK FH Unpad 2011
my first committee i ever join since i'm in college. really blessed to have a chance working together with such blessed and talented people. really blessed (too) to had a chance sharing heart-to-heart about anything that may come in between us and drive us apart. in the end, i learn so much through the process that helps me to grow better than ever. thankyou.

Kokom ♥

Splashin' CMYK
when UAS comes near, staying up all night on the closest fast food resto is something commonly acceptable. one night we've had enough and started to play with our digicam with color gel that comes in package with my Kinyis. put those color-gels onto the flash or directly to the lens, and this is what we got. no photoshop needed.

Malam Inaugurasi 2010
the biggest event ever held by my batch. major tasks with such close deadlines, i've been lazy through the whole process though, but in the end i was the one that's overwhelmed with everything. got a chance to do my own installation (if i may say) contained hundreds of photos about my batch. fun night, fun team, 2010: i'm possible!

2 Years Anniversary
major part of my happiness during this year, is being with someone whom i love so much and growing better together. we were never expect that we could reach this number, both are so temperamental when it comes to arguing, we hate so many sides of each other, but in the end we learned that it was never about having so many things in common. it was always about reflecting yourself onto another and at last learn to change for the better.
thank you for 2 helluva years, Panda. i love you ♥

Lembang Getaway
long story short, this is the best moment in time that i've had to do with bunch of cool people. soaking the fresh air, singing some songs, watching movies, traveling by motorcycles, sharing stories, a truly getaway from boring routines and killer deadlines. am looking forward to have more of this in 2012 with my best mates.

Belitong Getaway
the. best. trip. to. an. island. ever!!!! i mean, i've gone to Kepulauan Seribu and literally visit each one of them, but this one, she's different. Belitong really has this exquisite beauty that i may not explain properly. this little island is quiet, shy, and humble (although the night-life part is excluded. it's a wild world there). every single beaches that it has is amazingly breathtaking, even the ones that connects directly to Laut Jawa that known for its huge wave and strong wind. i leave a piece of my heart here, just to make sure that i'll comeback here someday.

Interview with Superkids
so one day during September if i'm not mistaken, i got myself into a journalistic competition, the theme is "a different side of little box called poverty". at first i had no idea of what to write, got my friend's camera in hand, an x-pro film loaded, i begin my journey with Kirara & Adit. i ended up interviewing some little hawkers that make a living from Kerupuk that they sell. i was so stunned with their bravery to dream big and believe in them, a wake-up call with reality slap on my face, these little heroes dare to believe in their dream when the rest of the world being so pathetically cynical just because they're economically poor.
from my point of view, i think we all should be a bit more "rich" in morality. just because someone's poor, doesn't make them inhuman, doesn't take their dream away, doesn't make their life will be forever miserable. it's us that's poor all this time, cause we're too blinded by looking up too far, forget that we - ourselves - had to live our own, and those below can show some humanity more than we could. shame on us.
oh! & i won third place on that competition. thanks to them :)

Natal PMK FH Unpad 2011
here comes the most emotionally-draining event. finally got a chance to be a head division, thought that it'd be cool and exciting, turned out to be crazily frustrating. i have to deal with many kinds of different people, i have to keep my heads down and also teach my kids how to, i have to argue for what i think is the best for this event's sake, i have to work under such lousy chairman that needs our help all-the-time. it's tiring me to the very core.
but, the bright side is, i also learn so much (or too much) through it all. it also help me to realize that doing this kind of thing is not the reason of why i travel such distance and live here, then i decided that i have enough and this will be the last event that i had my hands on. no regret though, everything's worth it, everything will be perfect at time.

KTT (Kumpul Tutup Tahun)
the perfect way to close 2011 is by gathering with the closest ones, taking pics, playing games, reviewing or lives in 2011 before it ends, pouring truths all over the place for our own sake, just a really intimate conversation with my loved ones.
&they have prepared a surprise for me, Nico, and Benji by giving us chocolate cake whom I & Nico love. thank God they did that, cause i'll be mad for sure if they forgot about my birthday hahaha nah kidding.

Back to Square One

2012-01-15T22:17:00.000+07:00

i think i've had enough (or even too much) fun ever since i started this whole college-life thingy. i've done things i should not be proud about, my priority scale is messed up, feels like i'm walking without really knowing where to go or what to do. reminiscing these whole thing stressed me out, i feel like i'm wasting chances over something unimportant and solely for my own fun. the impacts are also there to strengthen the proof that all i did was only getting my self beaten hard by time and life.
i'm getting older, my graduation time's coming closer, those damages are still there, some riddles still unsolved while they have to be solved while a go, reality stabbing me from behind - pushing me to move forward, it's like every littlest plan i've prepared for my future is screwed. what to do?

"i thought i knew it all, i've been through the highs, said all my goodbyes. learn to run before i learn to crawl." - The Finish Line, Train.

i realize i should really cut some slack + some irrelevant activity(ies) to my college obligation. i'm gonna let go all of the board i participated in, realizing that being just a member is not so bad after all. starting some damage control on my GPA score, and start becoming just a real-serious-college-student.
it's gonna be hard; yes, i know. but aren't all those precious things hard to get?
it's gonna be uneventful; yeah, that sounds unlikely very realistic. define: being useless. that's much worse.
you can't just let go those boards you're in, you've fought so hard to make them alive; apparently, yes, i can. and their life will go on, with or without me. hurtful truth.
you're gonna be bored to death doing nothing but studying; if being dead is all that it takes to get my scholar degree then pay my debt to my parents & make them proud, so be it.

i guess letting go some things that makes you happy to some things that keep you alive though it's damn difficult is also a part of maturity process.
i'm afraid, i'm scared, i'm shaking. but being eerie does bring the best outta you, all your senses become much much more sensitive, you're ready for whenever the strikes come, your survival mode is on.
i'm ready.

Annual Post

2012-01-07T20:10:00.003+07:00

menjalani 2011 itu seperti berjalan di padang gurun dan berharap di ujungnya ada pantai, jadi setelah kering kerontang nyaris mati, akhirnya ketemu air (yang walaupun asin). selama tahun ini yang bisa saya ingat hanya bagian ketika saya bersikap amat sangat malas, ketika saya dihadapkan kepada keharusan untuk berinteraksi dengan orang-orang yang setiap harinya menghabiskan emosi saya, ketika saya belajar tapi nggak dapet apa-apa, ketika nilai saya hancur, hanya bagian-bagian terendah dalam hidup saya aja. setelah merefleksikan memori saya akan tahun ini, saya bertanya lagi pada diri sendiri, masa iya satu tahun dua belas bulan tiga ratus enam puluh lima hari delapan ribu tujuh ratus enam puluh jam isinya cuma yang bikin depresi aja? pasti ada yang salah, tapi apa yang salah?
kemudian saya bawa pertanyaan "apa yang salah?" ini kemana-mana, ke mall, ke pasar, ke kamar tidur, ke dalam tidur, ke suapan nasi, ke helaan nafas, kepada diri sendiri, dan ironisnya lagi ternyata jawabannya sudah di depan mata. yang salah itu ya diri saya sendiri. saya salah karena membiarkan diri saya menjadi malas, saya salah karena saya mengizinkan hati saya untuk tersakiti sama orang-orang asing yang kurang-lebih nggak berarti banyak buat saya, saya salah karena saya belajar tapi hati saya nggak disitu - ya jelas nggak dapet apa-apa - ya jelas nilai jadi hancur, salah saya karena saya nggak mengontrol skenario hidup saya tahun ini, makanya jadinya begini.

AKHIRNYA 2011 mengajarkan saya sesuatu, bahwa segala sesuatunya itu balik lagi ke diri sendiri. saya sendiri yang menentukan mau lanjut tidur apa berangkat kuliah, mau sakit hati apa ketawa aja, mau fokus belajar apa nunggu contekan aja, mau merancang masa depan apa pasrah sama keadaan aja.

selanjutnya, postingan ini gak akan sah disebut "Annual Post" kalo saya nggak mengikutsertakan elemen 2012 di dalamnya, jadi, baiklah...
2012 - tahun baru - halaman baru - rancangan baru - semuanya serba baru. tapi beda kasus lagi untuk saya, justru saya masih butuh halaman lama, rancangan lama, beberapa peninggalan tahun lalu. bukan berarti saya jadi "terikat" sama masa lalu, tapi siapa sih yang nggak terikat sama masa lalu? lagipula alasan saya mempertahankan yang lama karena merekalah fondasi saya untuk melanjutkan yang baru dan beberapa rencana jangka panjang saya.
saya menyadari kesalahan dari tahun baru yang kemarin bahwa nggak membuat resolusi itu artinya membiarkan hidup ngambang aja gak jelas mau dibawa kemana, gak jelas mau mencapai apa, gak jelas mau menghasilkan apa. maka, dengan sedikit naif, saya memutuskan untuk membuat resolusi 2012 saya:

mari segenap semesta mengaminkan, semoga resolusi ini nggak berakhir hanya di twitter dan di blogger saja. saya pengen minimal dua dari yang diatas bisa terwujud biar saya nggak perlu lagi merasa bahwa satu tahun kebuang percuma. sebenarnya resolusi tahun ini punya saya nggak cuma itu, hanya yang bener-bener pengen saya capai ya 4 ini, sisanya bisa menunggu atau disambi.
semoga di 2012 saya beneran bisa ketemu laut setelah perjalanan panjang melalui padang gurun. semoga pagi-pagi di 2012 masih dan kalo bisa lebih indah dari 2011.

selamat tahun baru!

Tumblr Diggin'

2011-12-15T21:54:00.002+07:00

so while most of you guys derpin on 9gag, i somehow still manage to stuck my head in front of some tumblr pages. cause just face it, tumblr sometimes does give you eyegasm or simply relatable quotes, while 9gag was only a temporary painkiller. &here are some of my faves. (all of them was taken from here, go follow him. loads of good stuffs there).

cheers,

November

2011-12-06T00:45:00.001+07:00

oh i miss those day when the sky is brightly blue, the breeze is slightly cold, and there is nothing to do left but enjoying the day. believing that whatever i did, the day will be beautifully spent.
i was in a casual relationship with these kind of days.

it's not that i've been living such horrible time lately, it's just those works are too demanding for me to have another idle day. and i can say that it's not a bad thing, at least i have something that keeps me going each day. i'm that type of person who needs to be kept busy or else i won't do any good being lazy.
i can feel now how much i've grown while juggling with whatever i'm currently busy doing, how many changes i've applied to my self and daily lives, and i can totally feel that i am slightly different than what i used to be to those closest people around me.

and for now, i could just say thanks to God that i finally have free time after a hectic month. a time to spend with my self and closest ones.

Lomography Diana F+ Clones: Mr. Pink
xpro film, forgot the exact name.

5th September

2011-09-07T20:28:00.001+07:00

Another hardest part of LDR is when saying "Goodbye, see you again."s &there he goes. And the whole thing of being a newbie on LDR start over again, the heartache, the pain, the missing, the longing, the unease feelings, cause when you meet you feel like finally you breath again. It's comforting to smell his familiar fragrance, to touch the skin that you know so much, to see him finally. &everything started to make sense again, like this is how everything supposed to feel, supposed to be.
But then life's bitch anyway, he has to go for a living again. So like I've said, every single part of being newbie on LDR started all over again. or even worse. cause you know that you can handle this before &everything will be okay. But you just can't help it anyway. Then you'll both text each other to hold on &stay strong until the next meeting when you both know for sure will be much much much relieving.
But that's the art of LDR I guess, the part when you waving him goodbye while he's going &there's nothing you can do but to grip yourself tightly and pray for his safety. The part when you both try your hardest to support each other when the missing is killing you. The part when you both trying your hardest to keep your promises &keeping his trust. The part when you're fighting and you can't sleep then decided to call him to apologize cause you worry that he'll do something bad with his hot-head and when you call he immediately picks up &says he couldn't sleep either cause he feels bad for the fight. The part when you're super excited when you're on your way to meet him (finally) &it almost feels like you fall in love with him all over again. The part when you finally be able to meet him after everything that you both have gone through &it feels sooooo good after all. The part when you've listed everything that you're gonna tell him when you meet but then forget everything on the list because you're TOO excited (in a good way). &then repeat to the part of watching him go.
These whole parts are something that makes him a very special person to me. A person that at some times I couldn't see, I couldn't touch, I couldn't hear, I couldn't smell, but I know for sure that he's going nowhere &keeping his promises only for me. A person so far but yet so close.
Thankyou for two helluva years, Panda. you know words were never enough :)

Lomography Diana F+ Clones: Mr. Pink

Shanghai BW roll exp. 2005

Suprême at its Simplest

2011-07-20T01:52:00.001+07:00

it's been too long we've kept away from fresh air that even the quickest grasp inject such pain into our lungs. too many works to get rid of, too many tests to succeed at, simply too many things to take care of but ourselves. each day is a whole new higher level, it's harder than ever before, it's pushing you to use everything you have to just call it a day. we unconsciously move in such rapid speed, acceleration at its highest, fearless of what's to come. forget such thing as: physical limitation.

then we hit the brake.

out of breath, panting, heart beating like crazy, until for once: everything started to make sense. we're human, again.

we enjoy the break like we've never had one before, spending our nights with simple things that we've silently desired to do since God-knows-when.
laughing like we're on a race of whose lungs are gonna come out first.
sharing life like telling a story to a complete stranger that you know for sure won't have any chance to spit them back out to another.
coffee or hot chocolate the moment we wake up.
simplest form of music through the guitar.
morning breeze with freshest air on the peak of a hill.

..............................

we're simply happy at its truest. a grand moment whose memories last a lifetime.

2011-07-06T17:43:00.001+07:00

let's just say that today's not my favorite day. got humiliated, got into a wrong class, wearing a wrong type of clothing, had a flat tire, etc. etc. etc. this post wasn't intended for anything. i just wanna say that I. HATE. TODAY. plus the fact that everything falls into a wrong place.
i need to see my muse back in Jtown. will hop on the soonest travel to Jtown asap. i couldn't hold any longer.

06.02 am

2011-06-06T06:44:00.002+07:00

it's the typical red-ish glow that i've missed for like decade. the exact same that used to be my fave color every morning i went to school.
now it's there, shy-ly appears with its own-kind-of-exquisite blush.
then i said "Hello, again" :)

i smell again the breeze that once appears on my early year here in Bandung. the time when everything's just plain new, and odd, and foreign, and just exciting.
then i started to feel it again: happiness over simple things just because it's what it is, it's as new as it's ever been. the exciting feeling you get from new surroundings.
but this time, it's more like the exciting feeling i get from new perceptions over old surroundings.

i feel freshened. am ready to face tomorrow, again.
i should really thank God for giving me such enlightening beauty this morning just at the time when i need it.

am happy, my cheek will blush just as red as this beauty from smiling today & so forth :")
am ready to life, again.
good morning!

Malam Inaugurasi FH UNPAD 2010

2011-05-18T22:42:00.003+07:00

one thing that really has took over one week of my life with its complicating issues and jobdesks and everything. but thank God everything went well. can't really post any pictures other than above since i didn't save any of the captured moments.
i slept for 18 hours after the final night.
then back to real life, everything went really more confusing and time-stealing. i can't really enjoy my me-time, have been away from home for weeks, i just missed SO MUCH that i feel like dying already.
but God's with me. he ain't leaving.

back to real life. back to real life. back to real life. back to real life. back to real life.

The Finish Line

2011-05-05T15:44:00.009+07:00

drawing pen // a4 paper // digital coloring & texture blending on CS3 // photo courtesy: deviantart.com

Cranky Noon

2011-04-26T13:35:00.002+07:00

it was Wednesday, the day where everybody's rushing to get done with their dense classes and pack them things up then get ready to go back to their homes. none was relaxed and enjoyed this day like it was all sunny and bright, everybody's on their worse moods, tense, stressed, really itched seeing time flies so slow.
the night before i had a sleptover on Aurora's room, we stayed up late until 2am or more, then woke up really early then rushed back to my room (which is about 7km away) then rushed to catch my first class that day on DaJok (which is approximately 5km away) then back to my last class on Dipati Ukur (which perhaps is around 4km away).
meet Aurora and Nico at campus to have our lunch together, decided to eat pancakes at Yuki's then stroll a bit around the area to get to the cafe.
Nico's rushing to prepare things up then catch his flight to Palembang, I were rushing to book a ticket to Jtown and pack everything up, Aurora's rushing to finish her assignment which deadline's 1 hour away, everybody's everywhere with no sign of appearance, it's just not the best day to enjoy a plate of pancake and a glass of milkshake.
while waiting for Aurora finished her assignment i took a picture or two, pure because i'm bored and also tired. Nico already left early and Aurora struggling with her assignment and I'm alone with my thoughts (&my friend's camera).

oh, &btw, here's a bit of my daily agenda. a piece of thing that holds fragments of time that happen in my daily life. cause they're too precious to be forgotten, or too unnecessary to take part in my brain's memory.

in the end of our meeting, there's no really "goodbye", "take care", "have a save flight", or those kind of heart-warming farewell message. there's just, "bye". a cold and tired "bye".

The Nest

2011-04-25T10:56:00.001+07:00

a bit of sneak peek into my room in Bandung. the place where i hide, where who i truly am lingers, where i lay my head every night, when the night falls, when the dreams and secrets are on the making, where I spend most of my times in Bandung. i've promised to post them pictures long ago, Rama also asked for it, so here they are.
(ps: pardon me for the mess here. these pictures taken while my friends' giving me a visit, so yeah. you know how messy things could go whenever your friends' playing inside your room.)

ceilings decoration // most touched thing in room // working area // watchover voodoo doll from Panda // fave accessories // nametags & reminiscences // you see she slept with her socks on! gosh // most avoided area in room // the books // Chiko guards the book // HERE THEY ARE: THE CULPRITS! // and more culprits... // heaven // sleeping Princess Aurora // fave thing to cuddle in room // #2 fave thing to cuddle in room // royal throne // bed lamp from Panda (whom I love madly) // the projection from Panda's bed lamp

Rooftop!

2011-04-05T15:32:00.003+07:00

it's my favorite place, i'll possibly be there anytime i feel like pushing people away and leave alone my self with my own thoughts. the views from up here were breathtaking, pardon me for not capturing them well, you got to see them yourselves (+ the night scenes from up here were amazing. i can stay here for hours just laying and stargazing &doesn't even think of getting bored! pictures of night scene perhaps will be posted next time, only if i remember to do so :p)

today's MAD HOT, perhaps the Sun is in the real good mood to accompany anyone who's doing anything outdoor. but i consider it's a great chance to go up and let the Sun baths me with its ray while i'm letting go bothering thoughts of mine up here (&of course taking some pictures).

anyway, i'll warmly welcome anyone who wants to join the pack of rooftop kids along with me and Aurora hehehehe (you REALLY got to see the view from her rooftop! it's be-yond breathtaking!!!)
well, it's still 3:26 pm & i still got heaps of subjects to memorize for i'll have 3 midterm tests tomorrow *sigh*
time to go.

support my friend's band by listening to their mini album here: http://soundcloud.com/weareashtray :D
ask me or their twitter (@Asshtray_) for further infos.
peace out!!!

Matu's Buzzday!

2011-04-02T01:34:00.003+07:00

it's Matu's chance to be surprised on his birthday! it was fun and all (even Matu drop a tear or two for he's never expected any of this to happen & we went beyond his imagination. yaaay us!) but then the night went depressing. some business has to be done REAL soon, and it breaks a heart or two to get them to the finish line. but don't we have to finish what we've started at the first place?
so happy birthday to Matu. remember the lyrics of Muse - Invincible each time you're questioning about your own choice to be here with us all. we're all struggling, but that's the important part of life, right? remember that we all are your new family, give us a call and we'll be there! wishing you all the very best, and Godspeed!

and please please please check my friend's mini album here : http://soundcloud.com/weareashtray :)
ask me or their twitter (@Asshtray_) for further infos.

Just Some Normal Happy Day

2011-03-29T11:23:00.004+07:00

this is the 2nd time i got a chance to take role on Perseketuan Rabu (PMK's weekly event)& this time they let me to accompany my friend being a guitarist. i was so nervous that i forgot the chords all the time, even when we're practicing. it was fun though, more like jammin with moi buds rather than practicing for any performance

and then it was rainy and cold, it's dawn and we got nothing to do to fill the break before we go to Persekutuan Rabu. so Aurora, Naomi, and Me ended up eating our early dinner in Ngopdul since i crave for cupcakes but there's no choice i had but whipped-creamed beverage. so we go for it anyway. the place was quite cozy but i give 3 out of 5 for the food and beverage.

after we finished the early dinner and Persekutuan Rabu at campus once again we got nothing to do & thought that it's too early to go back to our rooms. so we just raided our campus area and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk (and me taking pictures) and talk and talk and talk. so i think i'm gonna give you guys hints about moi campus at night.

then the night ended with supper. while waiting for Nao driver to pick her up we decided to had a round two of eating: toasts and glasses of milk. all hail fats! but i consider last night was fun, i had my time enjoyed. at least some getaways from moi stiff bored routinity.

Hippie v('o')v

2011-03-26T18:59:00.003+07:00

while i'm having such good time with myself browsing on the internet i found such beauty that i can't ignore, then i said to myself that i HAVE TO draw her at any costs. no matter how ugly she'd turned out in my drawing & whatsoever. so here's the inspiration that moved my heart to move my fingers then start to draw on empty paper once again.

too bad i didn't know who is she, and i totally forgot whose photograph is this. i really am sorry :( i hope i didn't rush the last time i save this picture into my harddisk. if anybody happens to know who is she or who took the picture, let me know!

and get ready! here's the result from her inspiring beauty in my hand...

The Sketch. b, 2b, 4b pencil drawing // a4 paper.

b, 2b, 4b pencil drawing // digital touch-ups // digital art

i know i didn't capture her beauty well and turned out drawing a whole different person. but hey, it doesn't matter where did you take it, what matters is to where you're gonna take it. any comment or critic is warmly accepted!

The Same Old Days

2011-03-26T00:07:00.001+07:00

i feel like sharing everything lately. so i found these pictures on my laptop and they remind me of two persons that i'm longing to see lately: Rama & Nungky

Rama
he's been a bestfriend of mine since i'm on the first grade of senior high school. we just 'click'ed right away and became a chairmate eversince. he's a real good guy, good as is kind-hearted, patient, doesn't smoke, etc etc. he's having a birthday yesterday & i forgot (yea bitch, i'm THAT forgetful. i'm so sorry ram :( i'll surprise you later, ayte? trust me)

Nungky
the craziest girl i've ever known and i love so much. we're living in the same town now, but meeting her is like an impossible mission that even agent 007 can't handle. i missed her so much. i'll kidnap her someday & do the same old things we used to love back in high school

if you both got any chance to read this, please note this: DAMN IT!!! WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU??!!! it's impossible to reach you guys, so stop making me feel like you both have turned into a cavemen!!! i hate you!

Week 3, March 2011

2011-03-22T00:15:00.002+07:00

Putra's Birthday Surprise
it was around 11pm or more and we're gonna have an early morning class tomorrow but heck, it's our friend's birthday & i thought it ain't a sin to "express" our gratefulness toward his new age by doing this, right? RIGHT?? so yeah, the classic prank we did to those who's having a birthday. dressing him with flour, eggs, water, and the Birthday Cake's icing. nobody can hold back the gusto to "dress" others once they had a chance to do so. and as you can see, we ended up "dressed" in flour and cream. you can't really tell who's having a birthday and who did the prank :p
Happy Birthday, Put. Godspeed! :D

PMK Education and Art Fair (EduArt)
another project on my campus that i've been digging lately. loads and loads and loads of things to design and edit and publish and re-edit and re-design and re-publish and announce and more more more more of photoshopped things, but i thank God that it's finally over with a positive feedbacks from participants. waking up until late night to finish the jobdesks before they meet the deadline was one hell of an adrenaline rush. but it was fun, keeps my head spinning and working, keeps me noticed that at least i'm still good at it. love the teamwork and a little surprise for the chairman after the final day. a bit of mineral water should be enough to refresh the joy, eh? ;)
(PS: there's a closing video that my team have made. i'm still working on the permit to publish it here. this post will surely updated once i've had the approval)

still have like 2 or 3 projects to finish this month and the following month! wish me all good lucks and your survival tips against the killer deadline (AND killer deadlocked ideas) will be so much appreciated! and midterm tests are also coming in my way, i'm nervous, dang it! God, i need your mercy.

I need to hit the Refresh button

2011-03-13T21:16:00.005+07:00

i've been feeling so lonely lately. i refuse to go out if it's not necessarily needed and choose my room above everything else. my bed has turned into a coffin that i longing every single second. there are dozens of films that i've watched that helped me to get through my muted nights without anybody on my side. this is wrong, i know. but i just feel so... lifeless.

my days aren't better either. i mean it's not like i'm failing on my classes, i'm not, i just bored. i used to count and calculate things, makes my head buzzing for working too hard thinking too many stuffs, unlike now. i must say that i RARELY use it lately, and it feels so damn wrong. i used to be friended with numbers that i know exactly how they'll turned out. unlike this social stuffs that really is abstract, i can never know whether i've made a mistake on my papers or not. this is also killing me! for fuckery sake could somebody just fucking please let me fucking know what fucking happen to my fucking papers after i fucking hand them out to the lecturers!!!! rrlrlrhrhrllrlrlrlrhrhrhhhh...!!!

on the other side, i really miss my bests. adjusting my self into this new environment is exhausting. i haven't found anyone that's in the same frequency with me, this really stresses me out, makes me want to run to those familiar arms that i know REALLY well :(
i want my old life back :'(

Grātuītas

2011-02-26T10:49:00.006+07:00

grātuītas (genitive grātuītatis)
[n] gift / favor
the transfer of something without the expectation of receiving something in return. Although gift-giving might involve an expectation of reciprocity, a gift is meant to be free.

perhaps one of the best class I've ever attended in my whole life. a kind of class that surely makes you feel 2years of togetherness won't ever be enough for each of us. having an excessive amount of missing in all of the sudden, blame the deserted atmosphere in my college life. i need to hear their laughters.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anaïs Nin

The Soul of My Dance

2011-02-20T11:19:00.001+07:00

how i wish you were here tonight with me

to see me in my best dress &makeups

to see me dance my heart out cause i remember you in every single movements

aku sayang kamu ebi :( bener2 rindu sama kamu

ebiku, aku sayang sekali sama kamu

aku ingin ada disana mengisi kesepian kamu

peluk kamu biar kamu tenang

aku cinta kamu ebi :)

cheesy, true. but that's why you're so addictive

will see you this saturday

can hardly wait

image courtesy from here

My Own Brightest Constellation

2011-02-11T21:30:00.001+07:00

the one that shines through my closed eyelids
the one that brightens up the sky with his brilliant twinkles
the one that travels the lights into infinity with me
the one that stays belong to one
the one that always mine

●05th September 2009●
i love you no matter what gets matter. i love you though someday you'll disappear &left a blank black sky. i love you beyond infinite words
you always know where i lay my head at night. i'm always yours. o

Who Are You?

2011-02-07T20:51:00.002+07:00

Can you tell me where you are on that picture? I bet you can't even after magnifying for millions times.

Not even close to where your hometown placed.

This topic brings back memories from early 2008 where I started learning Astronomy. This is the reason why I fond of it ever since.

To learn astronomy is to learn about the origin of this universe, to finally learn your existence and the probability to find other tribes that live on the other end of this space & reveal other secrets that nature has been keeping for itself. But for this post, let's just focus on "our existence" point.

Magniloquence has been something that accepted as something humane nowadays, all of us have this trait inside no matter how hard we've tried to hide it and cover it with sweet words. I do have it too, and I’m not proud saying it. I instead feel ashamed of how I’ve treated others who I looked down on all these times. So why did I start to write this post in the first place? Because I want YOU to know what I've knew & learned and perhaps change into a better one.

Some people needs a rude awakening to realize how bad they’ve turned into; some people just need to listen. And I have my moment of ‘awakening’ this morning when I attended PHI class. One of my lecturers drag in the topic of human existence, he said the exact same line as my Astronomy teacher said: “We, human, are nothing.”

Now referring to that line let’s think of how we’ve been treating other humans we met in our daily life. How many times you’ve made someone feels miserable for something you've said or done? Have you ever thought that even the most inhuman person you’ve ever know IS still a human? Do you remember that cashier, librarians, phone operator, builder, teller, maid, people that take a tiny role in your life ARE humans? Have you treated them the way you should treat a human? Do you remember that they – though not taking an important play – still are the ones that complete your days?

You are one of other billions humans that live on planet earth and we still discovering the chance of finding another creature who’s human-likely and share a universe with us, and that vacancy is still open until now. Our mighty Sun only categorized as small-sized red star, less hot than those blue stars, smaller than other normal stars, even our Sun is nothing compared to other stars in this universe. And our universe is only something that humans can only predict and travel through several finite lengths, and there’s still a chance of finding other universes floating around space and time. After knowing all these facts, how could you still be so arrogant and snooty about small things? What’s with the big-head that remains empty inside since you’re too cocky to accept others’ sayings?

So please, keep this in mind when compliments get way too deep into your heart and turn it into some rotten-obnoxious-thing that block your mind from seeing fact that your achievements are not that great so then you have the power to look down on others or bring them down. Treat others the way you should treat a human, not animal, not indefinite things. Respect them since we all share this earth, this Sun system, this galaxy, this universe, this time and space.

Please remember this.

"No human is big enough to make others small."

From Your Dearest Memory:

2011-02-05T22:16:00.000+07:00

and i'd better be heartless when you're gone, so i don't have to feel anything. i'm done holding pains

Cheesus Christ

2011-02-02T01:21:00.005+07:00

“as I lay me down / heaven, hear me now / I’m lost without a cause / after giving it my all // winter storms have come / and darkened my sun / after all that I’ve been through / who on earth I can turn to // I look to you / I look to you / after all my strength is gone / in you I can be strong // I look to you / I look to you / and when melodies are gone / in you I hear a song / I look to you / I look to you” - I Look to You, Mercedes

“I don't believe in God.”

“Wait, what?”

“You’ve all professed your beliefs. I’m just stating mine. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise, God's kind of a jerk, isn't he? I mean, he makes me gay and then has his followers going around telling me it's something that I chose. As if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don't want a heavenly father. I want my real one back.”

“But Kurt, how do you know for sure? I mean, you can't prove that there's no God.”

“you can't prove that there isn't a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of it boobs, but it seems pretty unlikely, doesn't it?”

“I know you don't believe in God, and you don't believe in the power of prayer, and that's okay. To each his own. But you've got to believe in something. Something more than you can touch, taste or see. 'cause life is too hard to go through it alone, without something to hold onto and without something that's sacred.”

“Do you believe in God, Jeannie?”

“Do you?”

“No, I don't”

“Why not?”

“Because when we were little girls, you were perfect in my eyes... and I watched the world be cruel to you, so...”

“God never makes mistakes. That’s what I believe. You want me to pray for you, Sue?”

“Yeah. That would be nice.”

“I’m sorry about the other day, Dad. I should have let those guys pray for you. It wasn't about me. It was about you, and... It was nice.

I don’t believe in God, Dad. But I believe in you. And I believe in us. You and me-- that's what's sacred to me. And I am... I’m so sorry that I never got to tell you that.”

“If God had a name what would it be? / And would you call it to his face? / If you were faced with Him in all His glory / what would you ask if you had just one question? // and yeah, yeah, God is great / ah, yeah, God is good / yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah // what if God was one of us? / Just a slob like one of us / Just a stranger on the bus / Tryin' to make his way home? // If God had a face what would it look like? / And would you want to see if, seeing meant / that you would have to believe in things like heaven / and in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets? // and yeah, yeah, God is great / ah, yeah, God is good / yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah // what if God was one of us? / Just a slob like one of us / Just a stranger on the bus / Tryin' to make his way home? // Back up to heaven all alone / No, nobody calling on the phone / No, just tryin' to make his way home / Nobody calling on the phone / 'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome.” - One of Us, Glee Cast

Glee S02E03

God is there, I believe. Not really watching every single one of us, but He’s there. Lending a help whenever we need it, then go on doing His other jobs when he’s not around. And the God existence itself perhaps is between us, we really could never tell. But one thing I learn now, you can make a God of your own perception. Believe in what you want, treat him the way you want to. But there’s a bigger power than what you believe in, and there He is, the real God that make everything happens in your daily life.

Wintriana Januarti

2011-01-31T23:15:00.003+07:00

here's to the girl whom i love so much, who's currently living in US all by herself &make the living by her own. i couldn't explain how proud i am to have her as my best :)
so winiw, happy birthday. i love you so much. i hope everything that you wish will come true, go all healthy happy and smiley there. sorry i haven't been around much lately, you know why, but i'll find a way. promise. i know your struggles, i know that they're too hard to be handled by yourself, but you gotta learn, baby :) sooner or later this world will treat you worse and i want you to be stronger and ready for that moment in time. don't forget to pray, be thankful for every single thing you had, always remember to contact your family no matter how busy you are, and just live your life the way you want it. (since you're totally free now. envyenvyenvy)
i have some stories to share, too. as soon as i'm back to Bandung i'll activate my RIM and tell you every single bits of them. and you better be ready, cause i got heaps ;D and i bet you have more to tell (i want every single details of your story!!!)
meanwhile, go pile them up, i'm sure will catch things up with you by the start of next week. i love you, dear. have fun there :)

Astronomy Ain't Astrology

2011-01-16T02:21:00.003+07:00

Mosaic pavement of 6th century synagogue at Beit Alpha, Jezreel Vailey, northern Israel. Signs of Zodiac surround the central chariot of the Sun, while the corners depict the 4 turning points of the year, Solstices and Equinoxes.

looking at who we are right now, what are we doing, or how we become we are right now, are something that many people believe somehow connected to each of their zodiac signs - the ancient art of reading ones' personality (and some believe: future, faith, and fate). these zodiac signs matters have been started since 1000 BC (and around 1st millennium age that also known as Iron Age), some even existed older since Bronze Age (between 3000 BC-1200 BC), and have been used afterwards for many necessity - such as giving direction to sailors and wanderers, telling the farmers when is the right time to crop their fields - but mostly to tell people about their personality traits, fate, future, way to solve their problems, their love compatibility with other signs, and other things about their lives specifications.

taking the definition of Zodiac from Wikipedia, it is said that:

"the zodiac (Greek: ζῳδιακός, zōdiakos) is the ring of constellations that lines the ecliptic, which is the apparent path of the Sun across the celestial sphere over the course of the year. The paths of the Moon and planets also lie roughly within the ecliptic, and so are also within the constellations of the zodiac. In astrology, the zodiac denotes those signs that divide the ecliptic into twelve equal zones of celestial longitude. As such, the zodiac is a celestial coordinate system, or more specifically an ecliptic coordinate system, taking the ecliptic as the origin of latitude, and the position of the sun at vernal equinox as the origin of longitude."

cut the whole crap about astronomy thingy, i know that for amateurs this uncommon words are frustrating. the main definition of zodiac is about those constellations that has been passed by the sun during the whole year. zodiac separate our sky into 12 parts equally and actually is another way to coordinate astronomy things that appeared in our sky. just like how we use geographic coordinate system to tell the exact position of a city (e.g. 6° 7′ 59.88″ S, 106° 45′ 0″ E for Jakarta, Indonesia), but for zodiac it's more like telling us position of one star or moon or else that appears in our sky.

this picture tells pretty much how we define the zodiac from our point of view (earthly-view)

i am myself, don't really buy these craps - the whole zodiac and fortune telling through your date of birth thingy. ever since i started to study astronomy in high school i believe that constellations are nothing but humans' interpretation of a form that made by the shiniest star with a group of the closest stars. different person could tell a different shape of that abstract form, just like how we do the cloud gazing - until Babylonian people made a constellations catalog so then there'll be one interpretation for one stars form. but i do believe in other uses for constellation, like giving direction, telling times and seasons, and other RATIONAL uses. and i also believe in purpose of Zodiac Signs to split our sky into 12 parts equally to easier astronomer's job locating celestial bodies, NOT for other psychic thingy.

responding to the fuzzy issue about the 13th Zodiac Signs: Ophiuchus, i'd like to say that it's nothing but a crap. ophiuchus IS a constellation, but will never be a part of zodiac signs (that split our sky into 12 parts equally). Ophiuchus is off the the ecliptic - the path of the sun through the sky in a year - and won't ever join the antique coordinate system of zodiac. Babylonian did have 13 zodiacs but leave alone ophiuchus then made the other 12 to split the sky equally. other than that even other cultures and beliefs have 24 constellations of the zodiac, so there might be other "ophiuchus" that people believe should be putted on zodiac as well.

according to the Zodiac calender, i supposed to be a Virgo. i know some main characters that appear in Virgos - detail oriented, impatient, cleanliness freak, everything has to be on its place, etc - BUT i think that it's only a fluke, nothing rational could tell the exact numbers of people that born under the Virgo sign owns these characters and why does this happens. what i believe is how i become who i am right now is quite much because of the way my parents raised me and the surroundings at the time i grew up and do the living, not because of some aligned stars - whom their twinkles have traveled zillions lightyear - telling me how to.

meanwhile, as an amateur astronomer who loves sky and its art of our Universe's derivation, i'd like to once again emphasize that Astrology is NOT a part of Astronomy. it's a whole different sciences (i'm not even sure that astrology is a science) that were not ever related one-another. please do kindly remember this whenever there's an astrology issue, astronomers got not a single thing related to it, maybe psychics got something to say (it's probably a hoax anyway).

source &additional infos: astrology - zodiac - Bronze Age - Iron Age - image1 - image2 - constellation - Ophiucus (astrology) - Ophicuhus - Article1 - Article2 - NASA's article related to astrology &Ophiuchus issue

Earcandy #1

2011-01-12T18:41:00.001+07:00

music surely is something that i'm fond of since forever. here i will share you heaps of them that has rocked my heart and popped my head :)

Built to Last - Melee

Best I Ever Had - Vertical Horizon

I Caught Fire (In your Eyes) - The Used

The Call - Regina Spektor

Cancer - My Chemical Romance

Church Tongue - Kids in Glass House

Closer to The Edge - 30 Seconds to Mars

Crazier - Taylor Swift

Damn Regret - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Dear God - Avenged Sevenfold

Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin

Doesn't Mean Anything - Alicia Keys

Dying in Your Arms - Trivium

The End - Silverstein feat Lights

Endless Love - Will &Rachel Glee Cast

Everybody in Love - JLS

Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance

First Day of My Life - The Rasmus

Guilty - The Rasmus

Harder Than You Know - Escape The Fate

Home - Michael Buble

I.D.G.A.F - Breathe Carolina

If This is It - Newton Faulkner

I'll Stand by You - Glee Cast

Image of The Invisible - Thrice

Insomnia - Craig David

It's Not Your Fault - New Found Glory

Just Say Yes - Snow Patrol

King of Wishful Thinking - New Found Glory

Iris - New Found Glory

Leaving on A Jet Plane - Chantal Kreviazuk

Live Like We're Dying - Kriss Allen

Lovefool - New Found Glory

The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script

Miserable at Best - Mayday Parade

Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

One Last Chance - James Morrison

The Only Exception - Paramore

Over You - Daughtry

Party in The USA - Miley Cyrus

Please Don't Leave Me - Pink

Rain - Breaking Benjamin

2nd Period: Shoot Down The Stars - Gym Class Heroes

Smoke in My Eyes - Early States

Streetlights - Betterluck

Take You There - Sean Kingston

That's How Strong My Love Is - Alicia Keys

Two is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swift

Unwritten - Natasha Beddingfield

Volare - Gipsy Kings

Walking After You - Foo Fighters

Wonderwall - Oasis

You're All I Have - Snow Patrol

This is How I Love Them

2011-01-11T09:58:00.002+07:00

it's only 140km from Jakarta to Bandung, i know that it's not that far and there are heaps of ways to go through these distance. and it's also not a biggie thing to travel back and forth between these two cities, this instead has been something that's so common to the people who live in Jakarta or Bandung nowadays. the living here in Bandung is also not so different from Jakarta, people who don't have to live this way will say that it's easy, well for some points i do agree. the only thing that makes it hard is leaving my mom and dad behind.

i am the last children in the family and the only daughter my parents ever had. my youngest brother is 7 years older than me, and my older brother is 3 years ahead him, so you can put a picture in your mind how over protective they've been in my whole life.

ever since i decided to go to the university that's not in Jakarta both of my parents have struggled to accept it and try to fairly offered another option. they even still support me for every single thing that i need to prepare myself for the entrance tests that held by various universities in Bandung that i wanna go to. i did gave a try to some Universities entrance tests that are located in Jakarta, in order to respect what my parents want and also securing my position just in case i got no Uni wants to accept me. but in the end i got accepted anyway in UNPAD, majoring in Law studies that has been my mom's wish long ago.

i remember it was a very usual morning, i woke up with major heartbeats remembering that last night the result was delayed and will be announced first thing in the morning. i go check my entrance test number and got accepted. tears suddenly flow from my eyes and my mind went all blank. i don't know what to do yet what to say and finally called my mom (she's already went to her office with my dad back then), from her voice i know that she has this war going on inside her brain and heart, she finally know where i'll be going, but i know that she's holding her tears as well. i don't want to get more teary than i've already been so then i called my dad and his answering was flat, as if nothing happened. he's been like that fyi, i don't really mind anyway.

after that acceptance dad kept on pushing me to go for UMB and SNMPTN then gave UI another try, unfortunately the latest day for the registration was the exact same day with UMB and of course i have no other option (except going to private University in town).

the moving out part was also breaking my parents hearts &mine. i was the only daughter in the family that always comforts my mom whenever something goes wrong and cuddle to my dad like no one else. i know that it's breaking their hearts into tiny little pieces to see their only daughter move out from their home (while their other two sons were never moved out until they worked &made their own money) and start living on her own, with no 24x7 supervision and no instant access to reach me (physically) whenever i need help.

it's hard, picturing my mom will be all alone in my home while my older brother is working in Medan and my younger brother constantly go from town to town in order to fulfill his workloads, same thing with my dad. she will be all alone with Luna (my superlovelycanine) watching TV or read books like she usually does or listen to her favorite tracks loudly on home theater set that she bought in order to fill the emptiness when no one's home. she is desperately missing my daily appearance in that house with all silly stuffs i kept on doing just to tease her, she then finally brought herself a blackberry to keep in touch with me anytime she's dying to know how things have been going (since i'm a blackberry user as well). she sometimes call just to ask whether have i ate something, or what i was currently doing, she even insisted me to told her my whole plan to hang out with my friends on the weekends, i could feel her loneliness and it saddens me.

and by the time i came home she's all crazily happy and went hugging me anytime she had the chance too. and sometimes i overthink about the probability of turning this chance into a mistake, to leave home and living on my own. but i cling to the promise that i made, that i will make my parents proud by the time i'm moving back to home, i will have that SH. title (the degree title for Law students in Indonesia) after my full name as the proof that I CAN work my ass off to get what my parents want for me on my own.

i constantly telling myself that i'm doing this is also for them, for their mental pleasure in their old days after they've retired. to know that they have raised me well, that they can prepare me to fly and start living (and even start a family) on my own.

it takes a great bravery to leave my comfort zone and went somewhere that's completely something new and once was a stranger for me. but i'm more afraid of letting fear taking over my life and made me live in a total boring constant life. changes are necessary, and i believe that they are here for good.

then see now, i'm doing it anyway (yes, it's still in progress until i got that SH. title put after my full name). and heck i'll never stop until i reached my limit.

this is my act to show that i love them more than i love myself.

by abandoning things i love at home, families, friends, every single thing that's totally familiar and comfort me in my daily life.

by leaving them, for good, and will return with handful of fulfilled wishes and many goodness that they can cherished in their old days.

someday, they will proudly saying to the people that "that's my daughter".

cause their happiness were always and also mine.

Free Slut For Sale

2011-01-07T00:04:00.001+07:00

i don't get it.

in your age, with not so problematic life, and average needs for entertainers, smoke like a jobless old man and goin to club dancing like real slut and left your ID flushed in cheap club's toilet.

in your age, with no super emergency need to dress like Hollywood babes, shop every single thing insight like you'll be dead if you don't buy anything each time you get into one store.

following every single thing that "The Fancy Magazine" said to you and copy-paste their fashion mode pages into your dressing. then the next thing that happens to you is turning yourself into a walking mannequin and with no shame screaming to the whole world that you're the hot chicks that none can't not notice you when you're walking. and again left your ID flushed in public toilet.

then you go somewhere else with your so-called friends, that in the end will stab you in the back anyway, to some fancy places that will make you look cool while yourself don't really sure whether can you or can't you pay the bill later and ended up ordering the cheapest drink. then by the time you met your parents you gonna demand them to increase your allowance and using totally inappropriate words to them, your own parents, the ones that giving you birth and give their all to raise you and giving you the best life style that they could afford.

and feel nothing. not even sorry for your unforgivable attitude towards your parents.

i really don't get it at all.

perhaps junior high school/senior high school students nowadays have the new understanding about the words "slut" "fancy" "hot" "the 'it' girl/boy".

if you are one of them, well, i pity you. really.

since you had no life, don't have your own identity, loosing your principal things for stupid and infantile things, and you're the stereotype of teens nowadays, you got nothing to differentiate yourself from other.

you may look as rich as you possibly afford, but inside, you're a poor thing, baby.

2011-01-01T16:56:00.002+07:00

here we are. 2011. waving my favorite year goodbye: 2010. i don't really wish anything to happen this year, i don't want to hope for something that i can't be sure that will come true. i'm tired of making resolution that's only gonna end in a dump. i don't want to have a new year spirit that will only last a month or less. i just want to slide through without mattering things that actually is not that important. but i'll definitely cling to things i love most & we'll see what will happen this year.

so yeah, happy new year 2011. whatever. i don't give a shit.

The Most Expensive Windows

2010-12-29T14:37:00.005+07:00

i have mention once or twice here that mom brought such huge influence for me to read since i was very young, and it become more like a habit than a hobby until now. so i'm gonna review some of the books that i've read during 2010. oh well, i can't remember each and every book so i'm just gonna write some of the most memorable one tee-hee~ hope this could help you who's also interested on reading but confused to decide which one to read first. here we go:

1. The Book of Lost Things by John Conolly (★★★★☆)

this book started with the complications of David's family. he lost his mother on early years of his age. his mother death caused by an illness, David's father seemed like couldn't bear the wound by himself he found another women (Rose) and make her his wife. they moved into Rose's house and David got a room were formerly owned by Rose's uncle Jonathan Tulvey. Jonathan Tulvey have the exact same hobby like David, they both were love reading books, until one day David thought that he's losing his mind because he started to hear the books inside his bedroom whispering while he's sleeping. not so long after his father remarried Rose gave birth and make him got a new step brother, Georgie. this newborn baby attract most of his parent attention and he felt neglected. so one day (the story's timeline background were during the World War II) he walks to the garden where his favorite spot belong then German's plane bombed some place near his house, David wanted to hide in some safer place and got himself climbing a wall then dropped into a hole that turned out to be connected into a whole different world. he met a woodsman there then his journey begin to find his way back to the real world.
the whole storyline of this book was epic! it was like every single detail that support the main story were put in the exact right timing. and also, the collaboration of the old fairytales like Snowwhite, Hansel and Gretel, etc during David's journey are amazing. each and every fairy tales were 'translated' into a whole new yet surprising ending that none have ever imagine. then another main character that've been jumping from page to another - Crooked Man - also drained a lot of curiosity about his true form. and in the end of the story, the epic-ness just got into a whole new level. every single questions answered and every single throb that skipped during the story relieved. it's must read novel if you haven't got a chance to read one.

2. Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom (★★★★☆)

This Novel speaks about a life of Morrie Schwartz who is dying because of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), google it yourself to know what ALS means hahaha. Mitch, Morrie’s exstudent, write down their conversation about Morrie’s life after the ALS attacked him when Mitch came to visit him every Tuesday.
It’s unique to see how different a person would think and act when he’s closer to death each day, and it makes me think too – as a youngster and still have a long journey to go (perhaps) – that it isn’t too late to change my point of view about life. Morrie doesn’t exaggerate his ALS and how many time left to live his life, he finished his job while he still breathing instead. He’s doing as many good thing as he could before his time is up. He started to change his point of view about life, he stopped following the culture that always tell him what to do and others..
One thing that really got stuck in my head after reading this novel is :
“Everytime you breath, you’re closer to death, and there’s no way to deny it, admit it. And whether you realize it or not, your heartbeat is getting slower each second and it will stop beating someday. You never now when, where, how you will die, but there’s one thing that’s valid about your death, it is coming and you definitely can do something, not to deny it, but to change and do some goods before you’re gone. There’s no other way to go that could be more peaceful than dying but there are many people who will always remember your kindness and all the good times they had when they’re together with you though you’re not existed on this earth anymore.”

3. Perahu Kertas by Dewi 'Dee' Lestari (★★★☆☆)

Kugy were this quirky girl that is profoundly fond of fairytales. since her early age she've been writing fairy tales of her own and her only dream was to become a successful fairytale writer, but she realized that it's not an easy dream to catch. Keenan on the other side madly in love with painting world and never had another dream but to become a painter, but his promise with his father make him continue his study majoring in Economy Study. they were both studying in the same University and get to know each other by something that might be called as 'fate'. from then they became like two sides of a coin, inseparable. as time goes by they can't deny that they grow a heart for each other but somehow they just can't spit it. and time - itself - slowly separate them by their own activities. and just like that, they began to get used to not being friends. but their feelings: never fade.
Dewi Lestari in her own way bring such a common theme - Love - into a cute yet mature yet hits-where-it-hurts storyline. the flow of this story intoxicate the readers to not stop reading this novel. the main characters were like heaven-match-made, they complete each other in the way that also built a wall between themselves. Dee gave these main characters a totally different path to live after they're separated but NEVER forget the essence of how they love each other, how they tried to love another but keeps on failing until one day faith really brought them back together in a sweet tragedy that then make them truly complete each other in one boat, ready to sail their life together as a couple. it's a story about a heart, that no matter how far have traveled, will always back home. just like a paper boat (Perahu Kertas) that goes on with the flow of the river until it reached its estuary.

4. Rectoverso by Dewi 'Dee' Lestari (★★★★★)

this novel contains 11 short story that each have a different storyline that's connected with a red line that's: Rectoverso. Rectoverso itself means two different pictures that actually is one. this is what Dee's trying to tell, that in our life there are many things that seemed to be different but actually is one, like female and male, black and white, or words and music ;) Rectoverso born in two form, novel + CD, and each short story have its own song in the CD, vice versa. Dewi Lestari give a whole new sensation of reading the song and hearing the story with this unique collaboration. let's take a peek on the inside of the novel, not only filled by words, it's also filled with illustrations and photos. i must say, this have never done in any novel in Indonesia &it feels sooo good to read the story/enjoying the photos/understanding the illustrations/hearing the song that all of them were working to complete each other in order to help the reader achieving a greater understanding of what Dee's trying to tell. NONE of the short story were less interesting, each is uniquely inspiring and worth your spare time.

5. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (★★☆☆☆)

na ah, i'm not gonna sweat myself by writing Twilight's synopsis. if you still don't know how's things going on inside this novel, GO GOOGLE IT. it's like all over the universe. this vampire-madness is impossible to be invisible.
i've read this novel and i must admit that at the first time (when it was like only few people who READ the actual novel instead of just WATCH the movie), it's great. but now considering the fact everybody have known it, it became less interesting. but anyway, i will try to be objective when write this review. Bella Swan, the shiny-new-toy in Forks, have to deal with her own-self conflict and her conflict with this vampire Edward Cullen. (oh come on, everybody know that.) okay, let's just get straight to the point. i think Stephenie Meyer praise ANY characters on this novel TOO MUCH, like these beauty-ness doesn't even exist even in an imagination world. it's waaay over the top, &i am myself actually don't like the exaggeration that she wrote. ok. i don't want to attract more haters for what i wrote here. period.

6. New Moon by Stephanie Meyer (★☆☆☆☆)

na da. not this too. go google its synopsis.
this time, Edward left Bella - for her own safety, he said (oh for fuckery sake) - and half of the book is filled with how miserable Bella was without Edward. i must say again, at the first time i read it, this novel seemed to be just fine but of course, boooorrrriiiinnnngggg. and after those publicity and else and else, this novel started to seemed like a dull. i don't even want to waste my time reading this for the second time. (unless i got stuck in a nowhere-deserted-island and i brought nothing but this novel). Stephenie Meyer, perhaps, for the second time show to me that exaggeration is a must in every single sentences there. d'uh.
oh, &have i mentioned that Jacob Black - that happens to be Bella's other half but she, herself admit that she loves Edward until death when death itself doesn't exist when you're immortal - turned into a werewolf? well, he did.

7. Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer (★☆☆☆☆)

yup! the same with the one above, google its synopsis!
this time Bella will have to make a real hard decision between Jacob and Edward. at this point - even at the first time i read it- BELLA SWAN IS A TOTAL SLUT, such a shame that Stephenie made her as the main character. i finished reading this novel in a MONTH, the longest record ever. why? because it's totally boring, i read this because my very best friends forced me to and i got none to read as well. i thought at her third novel Stephenie will cut out the exaggeration even a bit, but again, she never fail to disappoint me.

8. Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer (★★☆☆☆)

Breaking Dawn is split into three separate parts. The first part details Bella's marriage and honeymoon with Edward, which they spend on a private island, called Isle Esme, off the coast of Brazil. Two weeks into their honeymoon, Bella realizes that she is pregnant with a half-vampire child and that her condition is progressing at an unnaturally accelerated rate. The novel's second part is written from the perspective of shape-shifter Jacob Black, and lasts throughout Bella's pregnancy and childbirth. Jacob's Quileute wolf pack, not knowing what danger the unborn child may pose, plan to destroy it, also killing Bella. Jacob vehemently protests this decision and leaves, forming his own pack with Leah and Seth Clearwater. Bella soon gives birth, but the baby breaks many of her bones and she loses massive amounts of blood. In order to save her life, Edward changes her into a vampire by injecting his venom into her heart.
finally! i found that this last chapter quite interesting. perhaps because FINALLY bella turning into a vampire. she could get what she wants then have a baby then have a happy life forever, literally. the best part possibly is when the cullens gather other vampires in this whole world to help them prove to Volturi that reneesme isn't an immortal child. that's all. oh! &i don't like this saga that much i don't even care to put a synopsis on my own. i copy-paste it from wikipedia.

9. The Hunt for Atlantis by Andy McDermott (★★☆☆☆)

the hunt for the lost civilization of Atlantis have been one of many people's obsession. Nina, who lost both of her parents during their searching for Atlantis, promised herself that she'll finish what her parents have started. after long research to find the exact coordinate of Atlantis she got into a serious journey to find where Atlantis really is with the rich owner of Frost Foundation. along the way of her journey to find Atlantis with Kari Frost she got tangled with Selasphorus Fraternity who'll do anything to stop anyone from discovering Atlantis. will Nina finally get to know where Atlantis is?
at the first glance i thought that this novel will be exciting and tell me a bit or more about Atlantis, turned out to be the fact that it's more like a action novel (which i don't really fond of). there really is nothing to be so exciting about this novel when it comes to telling about Atlantis itself, but if you're an action-novel lover, this novel might just suit you well. after all, i do admit that i have an adrenaline rush once or twice.

10. Clair-de-Lune by Cassanda Golds(★★★☆☆)

Clair-de-Lune lives with her grandmother at the top of old, tall, narrow, and odd building. her mother once were a ballet dancer, a very famous one, that died on stage while performing one routine. Clair-de-Lune was just a baby back then, she never speak a word ever since. her grandmother, in substitute of her mother, never allows her to learn anything except things that she taught. she continues her grandmother's wish to her mom and learn ballet, then she met Bonaventure (a rat dancer who can speak). Bonaventure took her to a mysterious monastery in a corner of the odd building where she lives. there, she learn to speak and be true to herself.
this is a good bed-story, it teaches many moral values yet entertaining. but considering my age i think i was too old to read this kind of story, perhaps children at age 8-13 will be a perfect mate for this novel. it's imaginative, descriptive, and full of surprises. and the closing chapter of this novel, also surprising and relieving.

11. Gossip Girl: You're The One That I want by Von Ziegesar (☆☆☆☆☆)

Nate Archibald and Blair are back together, again and everyone is waiting for college acceptance letters. Blair and Serena open the letters together. Serena gets into every school she applies to, including Yale, Blair's dream school. Blair gets placed on the waiting list for Yale and only gets accepted into Georgetown and she is not happy about it. Nate gets into every school he applied to with Brown and Yale promising him spots on the lax teams. After finding out that Blair got wait listed for Yale he decided not to tell her about getting in. blahblahblah, read more here
i'm not such a huge fan of gossip girl, and this one really is confusing me. perhaps because i don't really read the whole series from the first novel. but really, the whole flowing of this novel really is not that interesting, and the web that reveal every single detailed gossips, come on, it couldn't be real. to conclude, it tells pretty much nothing but craps about Manhattan uperside elite lives.

12. Refrain (Saat Cinta Selalu Pulang) by Winna Efendi (★★☆☆☆)

this novel tells about the friendship between 3 juveniles during their high school. slowly but sure there's not only friendship that grows, there also loves. then it become an awkward relationship between them cause they're no longer supporting each other, instead, they hurt one and another. how will they survive their friendship after everything that happens lately?

the cover is interesting, that's a plus from this novel. when you open the envelope you'll find a letter written "it's always been you", how cute huh? the theme of the story is pretty much common and suitable for adolescent who still in need to find what love means and this and that. other thing that i love from this novel is its quotation: "when love always go home"

reading 25 books this 2011 is definitely on my wishlist. hope i can do it well :) here's the books that i've bought but never had a chance to read them, so yeah, they're on my reading list this 2011!

i couldn't wait to have a semester break and read them!!! anyhow let me know your fav books, i'll find a way to read them as well. oh! &keep to supports coming for me here, thankyou loves.

YO(U)S

2010-12-26T13:01:00.002+07:00

your smelly armpits. your face when you're going to kiss me. your gentle touch. your worry when i'm not around. your small and light caress. your giggles when i joke. your jokes. your stupid jokes. your hilarious jokes. your voice when you try to calm me down. your funny voice. your efforts to win my attention. the little dimple when you smile. your hair. your lips. your gesture to protect me. your spoon-fed face when you ask me to hug you. our holding hands. our intertwined arms. your humbleness. your efforts to fulfill my wish no matter what gets in your way to stop you. a pair of your long canine. your cute gesture when you want me to hug you. your crying face. your hugs. your kisses. a throb that skipped because of you. your sex face. your ignorance to teach me how to grow up &be mature. your efforts to quit smoking for me. your glancing smile when you're riding the motorcycle and i'm hugging you from back. your happy face getting a gift. your nervous face waiting for my reaction when i'm about to open your gift. your near-to-cry-apology-face. our laughs in the middle of our fight, no apology needed. your rarest tweet mentioning me. our old wall-to-wall. our ritual to share today's date expense. your funny face when you try to seduce me but fail. your rarest phone call. our little text message. the way you make me angry. your guilty face when you're about to ask me something i might don't like. when you say that i complete you &the other way around. your humbleness. your humbleness. your humbleness. when you gave up the fight so then i'd stay a while longer. when you say "i'm gonna wait for you in our next life". my tears when i remember all these things.

Epic! This is Epic!

2010-12-23T15:38:00.009+07:00

probably one of the most amazing fashion items i've ever seen on earth! with galaxy print it feels like you're carrying the whole universe in your back. it's Kipling Humboldt Galaxy Print Backpack! i fell in love at the first sight i want to have it so bad but i know that it couldn't come true. it's too expensive &i don't even think that they'll sell it in Indonesia :(
but guess what? mom bought it as my Christmas present!!! i was happy like fvck this couldn't be true! ohmyGod ohmyGod ohmyGod

i'm gonna sleep with it for the next whole year perhaps. i'm just so happy i couldn't stop smiling!! oh! &Levi's curve really is comfortable to wear. it's like every curve of my hips is in the right place. please do purchase one :)

oh ! please do support me by voting me here! i'd appreciate it so much. thankies :*
happy holiday!

Highlights

2010-12-22T04:01:00.010+07:00

it's 3.40am and i can't sleep. i let the quiet ambiance influence me to think about years that reminiscent me of the highlights of my life so far. i took a gulp of mineral water. prepare my self for the flow of the steamy memories of the past. i took one deep breath. inhale.. exhale...

1992

it was bright and pretty humid. i was born 5 minutes after my dad left mom on hospital to prepare two of my bros to go to school. i'm glad mom doesn't have to stay all night giving birth to me. all went well. no knife nor needle needed.

1997

it was the sweetest birthday party ever, my sweetest and only. never really celebrate it anymore ever since.

2002

the peer pressure is on. every friends that i had seems like pulling themselves away from me. i don't know what i did, but they are bullying me. literally. maybe because i'm too lazy and ignorance. the only thing that i remember is that i never did any of homeworks given but got straight A+ for every single tests. maybe that's why.

2004

finally graduated from my hell elementary school. yeah, i already learned a lesson about 'mean girls' since in elementary studies. i did grow up too fast, mentally speaking. but shit, i got into a Junior High School where almost all of my elementary schoolmate went too.

2005

i strive harder. i bloomed. no one ever expected me to be that 'smart'. academically speaking. i am stronger for i know i did no wrong. again, i grew up too fast. maybe i wasn't so bad after all.

2006

hold the honor as the first winner of every single English speech &debate competitions for as long as i studied there. clean record, untouchable. but i remember that i got my first failure here for being on the bottom 3 for Math try out. i was so depressed and i think it was some sort of a trigger for me to reveal the skill that i always had but too lazy to sharpen it. graduated with an average score 9.2 out of 10.

yea bitch, eat your word! i'm a smartass and you're a failure.

2007

got into a public high school. finally free from those 'mean girls' that have been haunting my days for straight 9years. met my very first love at the first sight and chasing him ever since.

2008

finally stop after chasing wanting dreaming crying for a whole year and a half. i stop. i wished i die. but then he came to me ask me to be his girl when everything seems to be just fine. we got into a relationship. only last a month. i gave up and my heart breaks into dust. haven't got the chance to really enjoy my sophomore year cause i trapped into science studies. no regret though. i repeat, no regret.

2009

mom told me to be serious this time, i'm about to face the hardest part of my life so far. got into another relationship that's awfully unhealthy. i fell like shit being in that relationship. i hope i could erase that memory from my brain. first smoke, just for fun. i stopped. i ended that relationship. no heart broken. cut my hair really short to get rid of the memory of him telling me how beautiful my long-black-hair was, it disgusted me to the very core.

just in time when i thought that celibacy rhymes with free,

i met him.

2010

been through an amazing numbers of tests. i bet my life on tiny line called 'getting-into-a-public-college-but-still-you-have-to-graduate-yet'. 3 years of waiting faithfully for a dream ruined in a second by a single world: "accepted". funny how life could be so contrary at a moment. been running like a headless chicken to get my self a certificate of graduated from high school &get into a good-enough-university. loosing my belief of god existence. still leave a scars on my insane-mind until now.

graduated from high school with an average score 8.9 out of 10. accepted at public university concentrating at Law Studies.

also gone through the hardest part of my life that reflected in my current relationship: growing up &be mature.

he is the one that changed me totally, inside and out. i learned it the hard way, by ignorance and tears. but it was worth every single pain.

first time moved out from home &living on my own outside my town. reality spanks real hard where it hurts. life is not good when you're starving like hell and all you got was only a worry to dwell.

still got 9 days to go until 2011. for summary: this year i've been living a lie, but hey! it tastes so finger-lickin-good, i don't even mind if i'll get sick later.

oh! &learn too much, forget too much.

open my eyes and shocked that i'm 18 already. afraid of failure to fulfill my dream of making my own money by the time i'm 20. seeing through this timeline i see how myself struggle to become who i am right now. i crawl walk run jump fall tumbling stop crawl walk run run run outofbreath sit layingdown. am seeing cloud as i lay, shaping them into an abstract image that i yet have to understand.

draw up another timeline of how my life should be for the upcoming years.

taking another gulp of mineral water.

close my eyes, and breath.
inhale..
exhale...

inhale....

exhale.....

inhale......

exhale.......

those memories blurred &fade into black as the pictures of us flooding in taking places

me and you and us

with you i can say now, that everything is gonna be okay. i belief.
goodnight, love.

There Will be a Happiness After a Long Unlucky Day(s)

2010-12-17T11:51:00.002+07:00

the fact that book sale drive me insane more than fashion items sale ease me. My Uni held a book fair that ALL of the stall give 70% discount for EACH books. this. is. crazy. if i didn't remember that my monthly allowance had run dry i'd buy every single book insight.
so i bought all those in the picture (+ The Golden Compass, i left it in Bandung) &still skipping a throb or two each time i look at my wallet -.-'
am so glad knowing that all the DC comics were original, though some series of numbers are missing. they all are of course for my Panda &the novels for myself. the bad news is, i'm in Jtown for two weeks then gonna have the final exam for another two weeks for this 1st semester. so yeah, no having fun, no playing around, just me &my study books *sob*

&now i'm gonna tell you what happen yesterday on my way back to Jtown from Bandung. i think i'd better wrote it in bahasa since there are gonna be some rude words &others (&it's not that important anyway).
   jadi kemaren berawal dari awal kelas agama. intinya sih dua orang yang gue anggep temen deket gue 'ngebuang' gue gitu aja di depan kelas. mau cabut berduaan gak bilang2 padahal gue juga lowong &niatan cuma absen dan cabut. gue panggil2 pun pura-pura nggak denger. nyebelintingkatparah. gak setia kawan kek, apa kek, terserahlah. yang penting gue ngerasa ditinggalin &gue gasuka. jadilah gue adu argumen sama yang satu, dan gue belum ada niatan juga untuk baikan atau apalah. ini udah kedua kalinya diginiin. temen deket bukan dia doang kok. masih banyak yang lain.
   lalu gue balik ke kosan ngambil tas bawaan buat balik dua minggu ke Jakarta. bawaan gue tuh berat parah &gue lupa bawa koper jadinya pake tas gede yang ditenteng gitu. pas gue udah di angkot mau ke travelnya ujan deres parah mendadak & gue baru menyadari: SHIT HP GUE KETINGGALAN! dan gue dengan betenya berenti di kampus, nitip tas yang superberat di pos satpam &jalan balik ke kosan ngambil itu blackberry terkutuk (&ini masih dalam keadaan hujan deres parah).
   balik lagi ke kampus &ngambil tas superberat &naik angkot ke tempat travel gue. dijalan ujan deres parah &angkot brengsek yang gue tumpangi ternyata belok ditengah jalan karena Cihampelas (tempat travel gue) macet parah &gue harus jalan jauh lagi dari simpang tempat itu angkot sialan belok ke tempat travelnya ujan2an. tas gue udah basah kuyup gatau deh nasib buku2 gue gimana (tp ternyata baik2 aja sih cuma city of ember gue kebasahan dikit T_T)
   sampailah gue di travel yang (untungnya) udah gue booking buat seat balik. travelnya berangkat jam 14.00 dan gue sampe 13.50, (untungnya lagi) seat gue belum di jual ke yang waiting list. jadilah gue terduduk lemas di bangku belakang, pasang earphone dengan volume sekenceng2nya &membiarkan musik yang 'memperbaiki' mood gue yang udah ancur total. gue dengan keadaan begitu dengan tangan gemeteran nahan tangis (yup, gue tipe orang yang kalo udah marah atau kecewa banget malah nangis) sms si Panda trus matiin mobile network hp gue &dengerin musik sambil nangis2 kecil.
   pas di rest area gue nyalain lagi hp gue &ada 3sms dari Panda dan telepon dari dia nanyain gue kenapa, ada apa, diapain sama siapa, dan semacamnya karena dia udah berkali2 sms nggak delivered ditelepon pun nggak nyambung (iyalah gue matiin hpnya). &mood gue pun membaik lagi :DD

intinya dari cerita ini:
1) when you're angry, get your twitter signed out! you'll only tweet shits with that kind of anger. &it's fugly
2) weather's been acting like real slut lately. always bring an umbrella whenever wherever you go.
3) nothing could beat the old besties. the ones that have been there with you since the very beginning of all.
4) it feels sooo good to be loved. to know that there's somebody that worries about you when you're in a real bad condition.
5) never judge someone too fast. whether it's a good judgement or a bad one.
6) home is the place that could ease EVERY single pain you hold. nothing could comforts you more than home.

that's all. i'm tired to the fullest &will use some of Panda's hugs today :3

innocence

2010-12-14T15:15:00.002+07:00

thank God it's only a water

2010-12-08T22:10:00.003+07:00

get ready to face the most rainy month on Bandung. my Mom always said that rain bring blessings for some people that have been waiting for it for so long, i tried to understand others' need for it but i can't stand an anger when one plan or two get ruined by sudden mild rain.
but since rain makes the weather perfect to snuggle someone, i think i might just love it this time :)

anyhow, i got this questioner from Susan, i think i'll give it a try :3
1. Why did you create this blog?
● i need some place to hear my words when there's none listening

2. What kind of blogs do you follow?
● i don't do following blogs or whatsoev but i do check NASA's and other. go check my 'Daily Opiums' on the sidebar

3. Favourite makeup brand?
● i don't do makeups, boo-ya!

4. Favourite clothing brand?
● i don't have any either hahaha at this point my life seems really miserable

5. Your indespensible makeup product:
● i. don't. do. makeups.

6. Your favourite colour:
● turquoise
● fuchsia
● indigo
● white, of course

7. Your perfume:
● Paradise Inferno, Benetton
● Secret Wish, Anna Sui

8. Your favourite film:
● Wall-E

9. What country would you like to visit and why?
● any country in Europe then take some great photographs there

10. Make the last question yourself and answer: Do you love all your affies?
● you ain't a bitch? don't do drugs? hate hedonism as well? of course i love you :)

well, i'm gonna do my assignments next. buzz me on twitter or bbm, ayte?

The Restless Nights

2010-12-03T18:47:00.003+07:00

after taking a short getaway to Jtown &skipping classes I was back to the old (yet new) routine. &hell all those activity (studying, doing tasks, being a part of uni's events, having fun, blending in, &all) did really steal almost all of my energy.

Thank God mom did pass this hobby to me since i was born, i always love to read, any kind of book :) this helped me to get through my most-boring day then turned it upside down.

i found that Law at many aspects do hold a crucial part (we're gonna talk about that later) &extremely needed eversince. but I'm this kind of person that's easily get bored by one topic &have such eager to know more &else. so one day Me, Reiko, Yessy, Tioma, & Rachel hop on our Uni's Library. I always love library, it's almost like a holy place to me. and our Uni's Library wasn't so big &stacked millions of books &made me gone mad-happy like a bee just got a sugar rush, but it was enough perhaps.

maybe you guys can conclude by my header or my profile picture or more photos from this blog that i'm profoundly in love with astronomy. it's like an endless obsession of mine, knowing more and more and more and more about this whole universe. so i (literally) run to the Astronomy section and searched for a good one to read &borrowed &&ended up knowing that ALL of those Astro books are interesting. so i randomly picked one then strolled around to find another interesting subject to read then decided to read about personality science. i'm excited like fuck to finish reading these two :DD

The Cosmic Voyage (Through Time and Space)

Personality (Theories Basic Assumptions, Research, and Applications) by Larry A. Huelle & Daniel J. Ziegler

i'm currently in Jtown until Tues, will be skipping classes on Monday &going to UI's Library with my Panda then finishing some tasks. hop on me if you'll be there as well, or if you're in town too let's arrange a meeting :D i'd love getting to know some new friends :)

so this is all that I can tell from my past week, tell me about yours!

currently listening to:

● Bust Your Windows - Jasmine Sullivan

● Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

● To Make You Feel My Love 2 - Anisa Dhaniaprianty

What Did You Ever Do to Change The World?

2010-11-21T23:22:00.005+07:00

STORYLINE

Young Trevor McKinney, troubled by his mother's alcoholism and fears of his abusive but absent father, is caught up by an intriguing assignment from his new social studies teacher, Mr. Simonet. The assignment: think of something to change the world and put it into action. Trevor conjures the notion of paying a favor not back, but forward--repaying good deeds not with payback, but with new good deeds done to three new people. Trevor's efforts to make good on his idea bring a revolution not only in the lives of himself, his mother and his physically and emotionally scarred teacher, but in those of an ever-widening circle of people completely unknown to him. Written by Jim Beaver

POPCORNS

i was once watched this movie on HBO channel. at a first glimpse it doesn't even have a catchy title, i thought it was about some kind of mafia in economy world that i'm totally not interested in. but i give it a try then turned out to be one of the most life changing movie i've ever watched.

the idea behind this movie is totally simple and applicable. when someone (let's named it A) did any form of kindness to you, you do not give any kindness to A back, but forward to three people that needed more than A. simple thing that i've never thought of. thinking of that idea, imagine how many people lifes would be helped and the world will started to seem like one place that's finally comfortable living at.

let's take a simple example. You were afraid to cross the crowded street alone then some guy helped you. automatically you'd say 'thanks', but thanks is not enough. in this world of 'pay it forward' you have to help 3 more person until you're free from owe that guy's help. seems difficult, huh? you only helped once but then you have to help 3times.

"I guess it's hard for people who are so used to things the way they are - even if they're bad - to change. 'Cause they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses."- Trevor McKenney

did you see how you're gonna break the chain once you give up trying to help other people in order to pay it forward? changing is hard. everybody knows that. but there's a way to make this world become a waaay much comfortable place to live at. people will started to help without mattering things that actually is not that important.
i've started living in this chain of 'pay it forward' ever since i watched this movie. quite hard, &sometimes I only help once to pay the kindness forward, but at least i try &i have a faith when people started to believe it's far more important to pay it forward than pay it back, we'll make one-hell-of-a-heaven-on earth :)

Hometown Glory - Adelle

2010-11-15T01:28:00.005+07:00

into the lights we go. cause this city will never sleep.

"round my hometown, memories are fresh. round my hometown, ooh, the people i've met are the wonders of my world. are the wonders of my world. are the wonders of this world..."

words vomit

2010-11-13T02:46:00.001+07:00

our scents melt together ● the ones who love you most will stay no matter what ● boring things happen to boring people ● always expect less for everything then surprise yourself everyday ● i always thought that they were some narrow minded people, turned out to be the fact that i was the one that's narrow minded for judging them by their looks ● it's raining, the weather's getting pretty humid, &we're snuggling each other ● having deadlines makes me think that at least i'm taking important role on something ● astronomy will always be my muse ● having me-time when everything gets too crowded ● i'm always this introvert kinda girl, even if we're bestfriends there must be something about me you'd never know ● i'm getting tired of all this hatred. i should stop being so negative about everything lately ● it sucks big time when the internet connection goes slow ● i love my life just the way it is ● smokers should really go to hell. literally ● you were born original, don't die a copy ● i miss highschool moments BIG TIME ● life's getting harder each day, i should be stronger as well ● sometimes words that i can't vomit can be presented by tones. any tones, music tones or color tones ● i will make my parents proud of having me as their daughter

#prayforIndonesia

2010-11-07T05:54:00.003+07:00

as we all knew what've happened to Indonesia. Tsunami, Earthquake, Lava eruption, flood, disastrous things just keep on happening like there'll be no end. I'm scared, we all Indonesians scared. it's like everything's started to fallen apart and there's nothing we can do.

it's like we're living haunted by upcoming disasters. we all feel unease. we all feel miserable. no matter where we live, these disasters do effect the whole state. we're in a real bad condition.

I wish God will hear the pray from each of the people for Indonesia.

prayforindonesia - prayforindonesia - prayforindonesia - prayforindonesia - prayforindonesia - prayforindonesia - prayforindonesia - prayforindonesia

Lava eruption from Mount Merapi,

The Rescue team for Tsunami in Mentawai is still in progress on finding the victims.

The remaining after Tsunami in Mentawai.

You see that look-alike-a-cow-stone? it IS a cow. covered by ashes from Mount Merapi eruption.


and up until now Mount Merapi still in an active condition and the evacuation keeps on going.

the families that totally lost ALL of their belongings. still waiting for the government helps.

Homesick

2010-10-18T21:43:00.004+07:00

"all the stuffs that you left behind won't change. you're the one that changed."

howdyyyy! life's been pretty busy lately, with all these new adjustments in my college life. everything just seem so... New. at first i was like "whoa"-ing everything insight. well, it's been 2months and everything still feel awkward and i don't quite like it.
everything seem to make sense now. with me, all by myself, struggling to complete all my daily needs started to hit me where it hurts, so this is how it feels to be on my own feet.
oh how I miss my senior high school life.
but then I know that somehow I HAVE TO move on. it's a new life, a new blank page that's waiting to be written, a new chance, I can't just blow this one up. I've learn from the best about failure in this step, getting into college-survive-graduate-get a job, once you fail it's awfully hard to get back on track and hit the road.
well, maybe I'm just blabbing around right now. I'm just a little bit drunk, perhaps.

I've never knew how does it feel to be homesick, or missing home so bad, or whatsoever. now I know how it really feels like.
it's like, the feeling of being unease on somewhere but somehow you just got to make it through, then you're automatically think of how it used to be back home. you're just started to compare things you're living through right now with the things that you used to lived back home.
it's fucking hard.
many friends of mine, that continue their study in town, envy the chance that I had to continue my study outskirt of that Jtown. well, I tell you this: try to put yourself in my shoes, see how things will go then.
I am now have an obligation to take care of my self as well as being responsible with my current study. how to balance everything - time, money, needs, fun, everything - and make the most of the day EVERYDAY. now THAT'S something you're gonna envy about.

and also, the feeling of being away from your beloved ones that used to be around you every single seconds, also killing you.
the feeling of being alone somehow is making me desperate and sad and gloomy and all. and that's uncomfortable. but again, I should prove to my parents that this is my choice, I have a full control of my life now.
now you tell me which part of those is "fun" enough for you.
being away from home it's not just about having fun without your parents knowing about it, it's all about your attitude to manage through your basic needs and main aim. it's fun, i admit, but it's full of hard work and growing-up process inside.
so stop being a bitch that telling me how lucky I am to have fun and wild without any permit from my parents.

again, I'm just homesick. all these new things kind of scare me.
i need my familiar-stuffs back.
i know. sorry for being such a crying-baby.

This is home, I feel safe within his shadow

toldya, this kind of new life is boooooring. no class, laying on the corridor, doing nothing but messing around with mygirls, this is so wtf.

Luna loves running through these grasses :DD oh how I miss Luna :(

well I did try the night life, it doesn't suit me well. i felt so... blue

And! I INTRODUCE YOUUU! Vanilla, Si Buntung, and a box of chocolate milk! they helped mo to survive everyday *kisses*

dead dream

2010-07-12T23:57:00.004+07:00

When those obstacles become too hard to jump over, are you ready to give up?
When three years proves nothing but your faith, will you stay and wait?
When sacrifices, times, wounds, blood, tears, &all won't work at all &they kill you, do you still remember your 1st step?
&everyone has known the truth: time heals, time kills. Tear cures, tear torns. Silence helps, silence burns.
Now I see those all fading away, into black. then disappear. for good.

(image courtesy from here)

Walked Away

2010-06-09T15:37:00.004+07:00

Ida Walked Away from takcom™ on Vimeo.

this vid really reminds me of... well, my life.

all these times I've been too busy mending my broken heart

too busy living my present, forget to plan my future

too busy stepping on my days, forget to fly my dreams

too busy trying to let go, forget to hold on to the bests that I had

&sometimes I've been living my days on a box, and I'm still not realizing it.

too many borders around, too many rules not to break

one day I even forgot what is the color of our sky

cause everything just seemed to be black and gray

I know I can always look up and fly

but still, I'm too scared to loose something that's already gone away

I think it's the time for me to stop thinking

stop stepping into another fragile day that started with a gloomy morning

I won't promise to myself that tomorrow's gonna be better

cause I've tried and only get myself disappointed by the fact

I think I'm just gonna give it another try

and another try

even by doing so makes me forget my reason to start

at least I still have one aim that I'll hold onto

at least I have reason not to stop and then rewind all these paragraphs again

and stop living my days like a bargain

I'll find my way to ease every pain

I'm leaving

2010-05-31T13:55:00.005+07:00

so, yeah.
I graduated from 38 SHS with flying colors. want to know my score?
Bahasa : 8,40
English : 9
Math : 9
Physics : 9
Chemistry : 5, 75
Biology : 8
well, I couldn't ask for more. Pa & Ma reaction towards my chem score is surprisingly flat. they don't even ask why. well, I think they fail too on this subject, that's why they're not surprised I got such score. it's in my gene.
and I think pictures will tell more than words do.

it's their loss for not accepting me :p (I don't even want to be there anyway)

so you know where will I be for the next four years

I've been trying to keep my head off from these moving-out-thingy. maybe I'm exaggerating things, but, none of my siblings have ever moved out from home until they're married. so yeah, Ma & Pa have been extremely worried and over protective to me lately.
well, catch y'all with the latest news later. gtg. bye.

eyes wide open

2010-03-15T09:42:00.003+07:00

used to be extremely hilarious. it did.

until I saw this, &how I know how hurt it is to stand on his foot. I know this guy so well, he's my bestfriend indeed. we've been together like, for 2years or more. since the very beginning in our first day at senior high school until now :)
&what hurts him, hurts me too
for whatsoever's sake, I wish I could help you right away, ram so then you don't have to shed any tears.

hidup tuh lucu, disaat ada bakat, tapi gak ada fasilitasnya
giliran yang punya fasilitas seabrek, tapi gak dimanfaatin
ironis
tapi buat rama gue percaya. dia pasti dapet yang terbaik, tepat pada waktunya :)

dan gue bangga sekali bisa punya sahabat macam dia yang bisa ngajarin gue banyak soal hidup tapi tetep bisa diajak seru dan gila.

dan uan tinggal ngitung hari, siap gak siap gue harus siap
bisa nggak bisa gue harus bisa, peduli setan gimana caranya (tapi mudah2an tetep halal &legal)
banyak mimpi yang mendadak ngebanjir di halaman pandangan gue,
satu-satu pada teriak minta diwujudin secepatnya. minta diwujudin duluan. tapi tidak seperti temen-temen gue, gue gak mau repot mikirin semuanya.
mereka pada setres mikirin masalah kok mendadak ngebanjir ya?
emang masalahnya udah ada dari dulu kok, cuma gara-gara kita mendadak banyak kerjaan &kurang waktu aja makanya kesannya jadi banyak banget

panda pernah bilang sama gue "gak semua masalah yang ada harus dipikirin, bisa gila kamu lamalama kalo dipikirin semua. pikirin yang penting dulu, yang lain bisa nunggu."
kalo gue pikir-pikir lah iya juga, bisa setres gue semua masalah dipikirin. macam gue psikolog handal aja.

intinya, semua yang mau UAN gue doain sukses, dilancarkan ngerjain soalnya.
jangan panik
jangan ngoyo
banyak ibadah
banyak istirahat
belajar seperlunya
semoga sukses :D

"bayangan itu, mimpi itu
masih diam di Depok. menunggu, memanggil dengan sabar.

satu bulan lagi ya, Universitas Indonesia :)"

(all pictures taken by Spica Indigo)

So Dead?

2009-12-19T13:38:00.003+07:00

Yess i'm so dead lately. no passion. no energy. i look like a living zombie. but Holiday is cooommmiiinnnggg. I AM SO READY FOR THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS! heheh anyway, USM ITB is coming closer. i think i'm gonna dead after celebrating this year's christmas -____- anyway,

FLASH NEWS!
kenalin ini anak saya yang baru sama Bagustya Rachmanda

hahaha kidding deng. ya nggak lah
berikut arti namanya
Luna : The Moon, Earth's only natural satellite, known as "Luna" in Latin (lūna)
Fledias : Irish forest goddess. suggested by my boyf :) isn't he so sweet??
Aquila : is a constellation. Its name is Latin for 'Eagle' and it is commonly represented as such. It lies roughly at the Celestial Equator. The alpha star, Altair, is a vertex of the Summer Triangle asterism.

setelah sekian abad yah gue mohon-mohon sampe nangis darah akhirnya gue diizinin melihara anjing jugaaaaaaa!!! XD tapi banyak "nggak boleh"nya sama si nyonya rumah -____-
ntar juga dia yang jatuh cinta sama Luna, jadi gak bisa lepas. liat aja.

bokap gue juga yang tadinya kereng abis, horror lah pokoknya, tau-tau tadi pagi nyamperin Luna, &you know wooott??? dia ngomong gini ke Luna :
"Lunaaa... unyunyunyun... mana kaki depannyaa??? manaaa? calaman duluu kitaah. unyunyunyun..."
gimana gue kagak jantungan ngeliat bokap gue dengan muka penuh codet *lebay* bisa bilang gitu sama Luna -____-

udahlah, mungkin bokap gue sedang mengalami masa Renaissance *backsound lagu "Haalleeeluya...!"*
dan gue juga gak yakin gue nulis ini, tapi gue mungkin bakal kangen hal-hal macam ini selama gue liburan sekolah...

masak bareng pas Biologi Mulok

mencari genotif pake alat macam orang bego (padahal mah tinggal di random juga jadi -___-)

jadi pembunuh di serial Thriller di sekolah

doodle di kertas PM atau TO bukannya belajar (karena gue pasti gak megang pensil selama liburan)

Dan lainnya... dan lainnya... huft. kalo ada yang punya acara kontak gue yaaa. sepertinya gue akan kosong selama liburan dan memfosil secara perlahan -____- soo

Merry Christmas 2009
and
Happy New Year 2010:)

"This music's irresistible, your voice makes my skin crawl. Innocent and pure. I guess you heard it all before. Mister Inaccessible, will this ever change? One thing that remains the same: you're still a picture in a frame"
Lost - Anouk

"I remember every look upon your face, the way you roll your eyes, the way you taste.You make it hard for breathing. 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away, I think of you and everything's okay. I'm finally now believing. That maybe it's true that I can't live without you. And maybe two is better than one. But there's so much time to figure out the best of my life, and you thought that it got me coming undone.
And I'm thinking two is better than one"
Two is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swift

Kelas Tak Hanya Ruang

2009-11-06T20:18:00.003+07:00

hallo whiteboard, masih ingat coretan kami di wajahmu ketika Taufik ulang tahun?

hallo lampu neon, bagaimana kabar serpihanmu setelah bola kami menciummu?

hallo speaker, masihkah kau menyanyikan kami lagu alay dan menginterupsi ceramah membosankan dari guru kami?

hallo lemari, tetapkah kau mengunci pintu kirimu dari dunia luar dan menyembunyikan data yang tak seharusnya kami tahu?

hallo kelas xi ipa 3, adakah kau merindukan jeritan histeris Imam &tangisan bahagia Ucup ketika bisa ikut ke Jogja?

sekarang kami tak punya kelas, tak ada lagi cerita tentang whiteboard,lampu neon,speaker,lemari,&semua

saksi bisu perjalanan masa muda kami

kami telah berjanji kepada langit tak akan mengeluh,karena kelas hanya sekumpulan dinding yang membatasi kebersamaan kami dari dunia luar...

tapi sepertinya langit pun mengingkarkan janjinya kepada kami, &kami pun mengingkarkan janji kami. sekarang kami mengeluh.

kami rindu kelas

Random

2009-11-02T17:40:00.002+07:00

my life is sooooo boring lately. blog gue jadi terbengkalai, dulu biasanya ada satu-dua lalet yang mampir bikin heboh ini blog, sekarang udah sepiiii

krik... krik... krik...

temen blogger gue pada kemana dah? WOY GUA UDAH BALIK WOY. huhuhu bego sih lu, nne! pake hiatus segala, gaya banget dah. jadinya pada kabur kan? ah udahlah. posting random pict aja yaa

eye tells lie
hasil doodling gara-gara bosen merhatiin guru

Rewind, Forward, Pause, Stare, &Play

2009-10-28T18:27:00.003+07:00

just got a flashback to several months a go

dimana saya berpikir hidup saya udah kosong
dimana saya berpikir gak ada lagi yang bisa menahan kaki saya tetap menginjak bumi
dimana saya berpikir semua yang berharga yang riil saya miliki udah gak ada
dimana saya berpikir saya harus berhenti berpikir
terdengar berlebihan
memang iya berlebihan
emang kapan sih saya gak berlebihan?
tapi itu kenyataan...
tapi saya inget
mau sampe kapan saya kayak orang bodoh menangisi yang udah gak ada?
mau sampe kapan saya meraung-raung macam orang gila?
mau sampe kapan saya berpikir semuanya bakal kembali kayak dulu lagi?

life must goes on...

dan saya menjalani hari-hari berikutnya dengan setengah hati
kamu mungkin melihat saya tapi kamu kan gak bisa melihat hati saya
waktu makan di kantin Umi mungkin saya masih bisa tertawa
tapi siapa yang tahu dalem hati saya udah mau bunuh diri
awa bilang "gue ngeliat lo berdua udah cocok banget deh, nne! kok bisa?"
well, saya juga kurang lebih gak tau kenapa, wa
jangan tanya saya, bukan saya yang minta
tapi dia

dulu mungkin saya nangis kalo inget-inget hal cheesy kayak gini
tapi sekarang saya udah bisa senyum lagi
justru saya bersyukur udah pernah menyayat2 lengan kiri saya
karena sekarang saya tahu saya itu bodoh dan harus berubah
dan akhirnya saya memilih untuk tidak berpura-pura bahwa saya baik-baik saja
karena saya nggak baik-baik saja &saya capek bohong terus
jadi saya resapi aja semua sakitnya
saya bawa seharian dari bangun tidur sampe tidur atau bahkan mungkin sampe saya tidur trus gak bangun-bangun lagi
karena bagaimanapun juga itu bagian dari transformasi saya
bagian dari evolusi saya
bagian dari hidup saya
&sekarang saya sadar
emang itu satu-satunya cara untuk ngelepasin semua rasa sakitnya
cuma dengan membiarkan rasa itu jadi bagian dari diri saya
kalau sekarang saya sudah bersama dengan Panda
saya gak berharap dia selalu jemput pas pulang sekolah
gak berharap dia selalu bawain pudding waktu saya marah
gak berharap dia selalu beliin apa yang saya minta
saya cuma ingin dia tau cerita saya
tau apa aja yang saya lakuin dan masalah-masalah saya
karena sekali lagi saya belajar dari kejadian sebelumnya
cara paling mudah untuk menerima suatu hal dalam hidup saya,

ya dengan menganggap itu bagian dari diri saya sendiri

you're my helluva

MAAF

2009-05-13T07:05:00.004+07:00

sumpah maaf maaf maaf banget udah lama banget gak ngepost, padahal gue udah janji kan? iya kan? yayaya salah gue emang huff...
tentunya gue menghilang dari peredaran dengan alasan dong ya. hemm, jadi gue ternyata sibuk oh sibuk saudara2. ngelanjutin makalah fisika yang seakan gak ada habisnya *lebay* tapi gue cukup puas sama kerja gue, walaupun amat sangat melelahkan dan blablabla tapi ending2nya selesai juga, itu udah lebih dari cukup buat gue hehehe

ternyata gue bisa membuktikan bahwa gue bisa kerja maksimal sampe selesai. hehehe. ini buku kedua yang gue desain sendiri, ya gue tau masih sama jeleknya sama kerjaan amatir. ya iyalah, gue amatiran. hehehe aduh, tapi ya gimana. hasil kerjaan sendiri masak gak bangga hihihi. thanks to galuh, nella, sarah, dan walnida buat dukungannya dan bantuannya selama pengerjaan makalah ini, gue seneng bisa dapet temen sekelompok yang kooperatif macam kalian :)

ohya, kabar lain, gue udah jadian sama teman gue. bukan balikan sama gorila, bukan juga balikan sama yang gue kabarin kemaren di blog *capek mas nunggunya* ya pokoknya gue gak pernah kenalin dia disini lah hehehe sempet ada oknum-oknum yang gak terima juga sih sampe bilang "dia kan OUTSIDER, segitu gampangnya lo deket sama orang yang baru lo kenal! sementara gue? yang dari dulu udah di sebelah lo gak bisa juga sama lo", dan gue pun bingung. ada juga yang emang gak seekstrim yang diatas, tapi kata2nya menusuk di hati, dan dipajang di status facebook dia. bunuh aja gue sekalian -____-" kata temen gue "emang untuk dapet sesuatu yang berharga harus ada yang lo korbanin, nne." dan gue pun berusaha tabah dengan kata-kata temen gue itu. sampe detik ini pun si 'I' yang gue ceritain dibawah-bawah ini belom tau soal status gue yang baru, dan gue pun menyiapkan hati untuk denger caci-maki dari dia juga

sakit sih emang, jadinya gue juga yang bingung, mereka yang suka kenapa jadi gue yang direpotin sama sakit hatinya mereka? tapi ya simpati aja sih sama apa yang mereka rasa, karena gue pun pernah ngerasain apa yang mereka rasain, sakit, ngilu, pedih, ya begitulah. cuma mau ngasih tau aja biar jadi pelajaran yang lainnya. kalo lo suka sama seseorang, dan ternyata lo gak bisa sama dia walaupun lo udah berusaha sampe ketek lo banjir, please, jangan bebanin perasaan orang yang lo suka/sayang/whatever dengan bilang 'lo udah nyakitin perasaan gue' atau bersikap seolah dunia mau kiamat lo ditinggal sama dia. being together is not only means you both become a couple, but as long as you both feel enough filling each other emptiness in any context and happy being arround him/her, i think that would be more than enough to explain the word 'together'.

bisa main gitar ^^

2009-04-03T17:24:00.006+07:00

esuai dengan janji gue, mulai April ini gue bi-ey-si-key-yeah! Serasa udah seabaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddd gitu gue gak ngeblog hahaha xDD. dan ehem, kayaknya ada beberapa kesalahpahaman yang terjadi disini, ckckck, biar gue jelasin maksud postingan gue yang sebelumnya,rencananya gue emang mau ganti layout, tapi karena gue bego dan ada satu dan dua masalah, jadilah penggantian layout ini kita tunda dulu sodara2. okeh...?

dan tentunya... Ada beberapa hal yang berubah dari gue, ada juga yang stays the same selama masa hibernasinya blog gue ini.

Here are the changes:

· Gue sekarang make behel (gakpenting hahaha)

Entah apa yang terjadi, mungkin gara-gara gigi gue suka ngehamilin anak orang kali yah jadinya dikerangkeng. Udah ah jayus.

· Gue jadi lebih males dari sebelumnya

Aduh parah banget deh yang ini, semakin jauh gue ngerasanya makin careless sama nilai-nilai gue, padahal gue kan hiatus demi meningkatkan nilai gue yang hancur luluh lantak rata dengan tanah (halah lebay)

· Gue jadi sedikit lebih beriman

Gue gak bilang gue jadi religious yah, tapi entah kenapa gue belakangan berasa jadi lebih beriman aja, kalo dulu orang nanya ‘siapa sih yang mau beribadah malem minggu gini’ mungkin bakal gue jawab ‘hmpfh, yang jelas bukan gue’ tapi sekarang gue udah berubah men, dulu mungkin gue bakal jawab begitu, tapi sekarang gue bakal jawab ‘kenapa enggak? Ga ada salahnya kan?’. Aduh gue gak ngerti deh apa yang terjadi dengan gue sampe gue berubah gini. Mudah-mudahan rajin ibadahnya gak cuma sebulan-dua bulan deh yah J

· Gue jadi lebih sayang sama MT 3

oke ya oke, gue akuin MT 3 itu kompak, bisa dibilang gak kayak kelas IPA yang lainnya. ipa 1 mungkin tergaul, ipa 2 ter-ipa, dan ipa 4 itu ter-rupawan. tapi buat gue mamen, IPA 3 itu kelas yang terkompak dan ter-mt diseantero 38. oke, bisa dibilang gue lebay, tapi beneran, menurut gue IPA 3 itu istilahnya lagi 'mesra-mesranya', kita ke PPIPTEK bareng, karokean udah 2x barengan mulu, dan selalu lebih dari 15 orang *yang menurut gue udah banyak*. cuma mungkin ada beberapa yang merasa terintimidasi atau terdiskriminasi, ntar ajadeh gue jelasinnya hahaha.

· Gue mulai ngerasa gue gak punya sahabat

Sumpah gue tau banget gue masih punya VAYA yang selalu ada buat gue, sumpah gue selalu tau kalian ada untuk gue, tapi. Kita udah pada mencar-mencar.

Vita di Gonzaga, Ambar di SMK 57, Yohana di Farmasi, gue sendirian di SMAN 38. Sumpah gue kangen jamannya kita berempat macam babi lepas ngerusuhin DP, sumpah gue kangen banget masa-masa itu. Oke mungkin gue kebanyakan sumpah, tapi sumpah, gue ngerasa sendiri banget saat ini. Mungkin perasaan ini muncul gara-gara pertanyaannya si Nella kali yah, dia nanya gini sama gue kemaren

N – Nella, A – Gue

N : Nne, lo punya temen cewek yang deket banget gak sih sama lo?

A : Yaiyalah, kok lo nanyanya gitu?

N : Ya abis lo kan deketnya sama anak cowok mulu gitu…

A : Ya adalah Nell, pas SMP…

Pas bagian yang gue bold itu gue langsung sadar, buset, setertutup itukah gue sama anak cewe di SMA gue sampe gue gak punya sahabat di SMA?. Dan gue pun mulai sadar, sikap ‘bunglon’ gue yang berprinsip gak mau milih-milih kalo temenan berdampak buruk sekarang. Gue emang temenan sama semua orang, dari yang alay sampe yang elit, tapi gue gak punya seseorang yang deket, saking ‘bunglon’nya gue… buat VAYA, gue kangen kalian :’(

Dan pastinya ada beberapa hal yang gak berubah dari gue:

· Gue masih sayang gorilla

Gak peduli seberapa mampusnya gue ngelupain dia, gue sadar sesadar-sadarnya, men, perasaan selama dua tahun itu gak gampang buat dilupain atau diilangin, gak segampang mengorek kutil dari kaki, atau mecahin jerawat pake kaki (eh itumah susah yah). Yabegitulah.

· Gue masih seneng doodling sama desain

Gue rasa yang satu ini mah ga akan berubah sampe kapan tauk. Hahaha orang gue demen! Nyehehehe

MT3. Kertas HVS biasa, marker & stabilo point 0.4mm [hot pink+green+black+orange]. Dibuat di fotocopyan Jerman. Bukannya belajar malah doodling -_____-‘.

I Love dunia anne(h)

kertas buku tulis, snowman marker [yellow+orange+red+black+green], pulpen gel biasa, stabilo point 88 0.4mm

Dibuat waktu lagi kangen-kangennya sama blog tersayang :’)

Next project :

- Desain makalah fisika kelompok gue. Mohon kerjasamanya yah teammates!

- Desain spanduk sama poster buat paskah ekstern sekolah gue

Mudah-mudahan hasilnya gak ada yang mengecewakan, amin amin amin.

· Gue masih moody-an banget orangnya

Dari dulu sampe sekarang, gue kalo udah bad-tempered gampang banget kepancing emosinya. Kalo udah bête, galaaaakkk banget. Kalo udah males, bawaannya tidur aja, kaga mao ngapa-ngapain meskipun lagi pelajaran penting. Kalo udah marah, susah ngebalikin mood buat seneng atau semangat lagi. Gue rasa ini juga yang jadi masalah gue kenapa orang-orang kadang suka males sama gue, ya karena gue emang gampang banget berubah moodnya dan susah ngebalikinnya jadi positif lagi, ada saran?

· Gue masih cinta fisika dan benci kimia

Satu hal yang gak pernah berubah sejak gue kelas satu. Fisika selalu nomor satu dan yang terutama di hati gue. Coba liat catetan Fisika gue, naudzubila rapih banget kalo dibandingin sama catetan kimia gue yang bolong-bolong sampe 3bab lewat.

Entah kenapa, feeling gue sih bilang gara-gara faktor guru yang ngajar :p

· Gue masih, tetep, dan akan selalu bego kalo soal cinta-cintaan

Gue gak bisa nentuin gimana perasaan gue. Gue gak tau gimana caranya nyenengin cowo yang deket sama kita, yang suka sama kita, dan kita juga suka sama dia. Gue gak tau gimana rasanya ngusirin cowo yang lagi PDKT dan gue gak suka dia. Intinya, gue imbisil kalo soal cinta.

Gue rasa segitu ajasih yang berubah dan tidak berubah dari gue, mudah-mudahan bisa mengisi kekosongan blog ini selama gue hiatus J. Hemm, april ini gue rasa bakal jadi bulan sibuk, feeling gue sih begitu. Mudah-mudahan gak terlalu sibuk. Jadi masih ada waktu buat main idol street :p ada yang main juga disini?

Okay, songs for this week :

· Katy Perry – Thinking of You

· The Script – The Man Who Can’t Be Moved

· The NOX – Fitri

Gue tau the second one was sort of a so-yesterday song. But if you pay attention to their lyric then, taaaadaaa… you gonna find yourself surprised with its meaning J and for the first and the last one, mungkin gara-gara gue lagi nyendu aja kali yah lagunya beginian, tapi, suer… Thinking of you itu menusuk banget men liriknya + suara si Kat yang serek-serek seru itu, worth the try lah buat dengerin. Dan buat yang terakhir, gue tau lagu ini banyak yang gak tau, emang ini lagu gue kenal dari game online Ayodance Competition, download sekarang dan dengerin liriknya, walau judulnya terkesan tempe, tapi beneran deh, lagu ini jauuuhhh banget dari yang namanya lagu alay, atau lagu menye-menye.

Tips of the week:

“kalo punya masalah jangan terlalu dibawa serius atau emosi atau apalah itu, nne. Yang ada juga lonya yang pusing sendiri, kesel sendiri. Mending dibawa santai aja, cuek aja. Jangan emosi, jangan ngerasa mau mati saking marahnya/sedihnya/apapun itu”

Quote ini gue dapet dari Cadell waktu gue curhat sama dia soal dunia gue yang muter disitu-situuuu aja. Dari sini gue belajar untuk gak terlalu panik ngehadepin masalah. Santai aja, don’t feel like in a rush, jangan gitu ada masalah saat itu juga lo memaksa diri untuk menyelesaikan masalah itu, tenang dulu, dinginin kepala sama hati dulu, gitu udah tenang baru lo mikir gimana-gimananya, gue jamin, hasilnya berkali lipat lebih memuaskan buat masalah lo.

Picture of the week:

Ini burung-burungan dari kertas origami, kerjaannya anak-anak sekelas gara-gara tugas biologi mulok buat daur ulang. Awalnya cuma Galuh yang bikin, lama kelamaan semuanya ikutan hahaha, semoga sampe seribu yah biar bisa make a wish buat sekelas ^^

Ohyah, hampir lupa, doain gue lulus tes seleksi OSN Komputer tingkat JakSel di SMAN 70 sabtu kemaren yah (04-04-2009) I’m gonna make another shot this year! Doain CenCen juga yah, dia juga ikutan tuh…

oke, berikut video waktu gue lagi praktek seni, hahaha *gak penting*

tapi suer gue seneng. nilai maksimal penampilannya itu kan 5 dari 5 indikator. dan yang kelompok gue dapet itu 5, 5, 4.5, 5, dan 4. gue SENENG banget! gak sia2 gue belajar gitar. gue yang megang gitar kedua dari kanan ^^

yang ini kelompok seni dikelas gue yang emang dikenal sebagai 'kelompok-pembunuh-semangat-kelompok-lain-yang-akan-maju-sesudah-mereka'. and just like what i've explained before. They are awesomely amazing! ngeri banget kalo udah dapet giliran maju abis mereka, mau sebagus apa juga bakal jadi garing kalo majunya abis mereka. mereka aransemen Rek Ayo Rek, and yess... I'm speechless... just, see their magic work, okay?

so you've read 'em all buds! as usual, your comments are highly appreciated here. so don't be shy to tell me what is your thinking about this one :) anne is signing out!

regards,

A :)

Prepare to be AMAZED! ;p

2009-03-26T19:50:00.002+07:00

Mmkay... Setelah sekian lama saya menghilang dari dunia perblog-an sodara/i akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk KEMBALI ngeblog. Yupp! I'm back half alive. Kangen juga typing hal-hal tak penting sehari-hari, ngeshare hal remeh temeh... Oke, mungkin bakal ada beberapa perubahan di blog gue setelah gue kembali...
1. Ganti layout pastinya. Cuma bedanya kali ini bikinan gue sendiri, cuma masi aga2 co-pas dari blogskin untuk codingnya hehehe
2. There will be more picts coming in your way buds! Bukan gara2 gue punya kamera baru atau apa, tapi yaaa I found it's a bore read something without pict hahaha jadi yaaaa, tunggu ajaaa yaaaaa :D
3. Mungkin postingannya jadi weekly aja, bisa tiap jumat mungkin... Tapi kalo lagi mood cerita ya mungkin bisa seminggu lebih dari tiga kali...

So you've read 'em all buds, muda2an dengan perubahan blog gue yang baru bisa jadi lebih menarik and (perhaps) bisa lebih berguna bagi nusa dan bangsa :)
New skin and new posts will coming soon this April, so... "prepare to be amazed!!" haha lebay :p

Regards,
A :)

(P.S. : i'm still not over him)

maybe last post

2008-12-30T09:02:00.004+07:00

Mungkin postingan kali ini membawa kabar buruk*halah!* Keanya mulai taun depan gue bakal amat sangat jarang sekali online blog atau friendster atau msn atau ym atau facebook (yang emang gak pernah gue online-in. Hehehe). Bukannya gue jaat ato tega sama blog kesayangan gue ini (dan social apps lainnya), Cuma gue udah memikirkan baik-baik kenapa gue jadi bakal jarang banget online bahkan bakal hiatus. Ini alasan kenapa gue bakal hiatus :

1. dirumah gue gak bisa internetan jadi musti kudu ke warnet. Sementara mulai taun depan gue bakal sibuk les dari senin-sabtu. Dan bisa dipastikan gue bakal sampe rumah sekitar jam 7. Mau jam berapa gue ke warnet?
2. gue mau serius belajar. Doain yaaa… soalnya si mamah udah bilang gini sama gue, “mamah itu udah tua, masih bisa idup 5 taun lagi aja mamah udah bersyukur. Sekarang mamah udah gak ngurusin abang-abang lagi. Yang mamah urusin tinggal kamu, rin. Pokoknya kamu harus masuk ITB, itu aja yang mamah urusin sekarang!”. Well, gue emang anak terakhir, cewe sendiri, dan jarak umur antara gue sama abang gue yang palin deket umurnya itu 7taun. Abang gue yang pertama gak kunjung menyelesaikan kuliahnya (which I hate very much), abang gue yang kedua mudah2an kalo gak ada halangan yang berarti udah selesai disidang dan siap lulus kuliah. Emang tinggal gue doang yang ditunggu2. Gak ngerti juga apasih yang ditunggu dari gue. Tapi gue sadar sesadar2nya, emang tanggung jawab ortu gue terakhir ada di gue. Gue udah di katekisasi (atau akil balig) yang artinya gue udah dewasa secara iman dan gue juga harus udah mulai mandiri dan berpikiran dewasa. Gue tau itu berat banget buat gue jalanin, tapi at least I give my best shot. Yaaa, intinya, MUNGKIN, gue bakal mengurangi seneng2 gue ato kegiatan2 yang gak gitu penting dan lebih fokus ke sekolah. Ini udah jadi pilihan dan keputusan gue, emang sakit sih, gue sendiri juga udah mati2an ngeyakinin diri gue dengan selalu bilang sama diri gue sendiri kalo tanggung jawab ortu gue berakhir di gue, and lets see if I can give them what they want from me. Sepanjang hidup gue, gue selalu meminta, sekarang gue pengen belajar memberi apa yang bisa gue beri buat ortu gue. Dan pastinya gue sadar sesadar2nya kalo gue gak akan bisa berusaha sendiri. Jadi gue mohon bantuannya sama yang lain (terutama my besties rama, cendol, dan teman2 38, juga teman2 msn/ym gue), kalo gue ketauan online msn/ym/gmail pas lagi hari belajar ingetin gue, jangan dibiarin, entar gue malah jadi gak belajar. Omelin aja sekalian kalo gue ngeyel, apa ngga lemparin sandal juga boleh, tapi sepasang yak! Gue tau gue masih muda, masih labil, masih ngeyel, makanya gue tau gue gak bisa sendiri, gue gak pengen ini jadi janji sesaat aja yang Cuma gue buat gara2 semangat tahun baru. Gue gak mau gitu, dan gue yakin bisa kalo ada kalian yang nyemangatin dan selalu ngingetin :)
3. gue mulai ngerasa bingung mau gue apain ini blog sebenernya, jadi tong sampah gue? Jadi diary gue? Gak mungkin banget. Gue ngerasa hal yang bisa gue ceritain itu limited banget sejak semua anak 38 kelas xi punya blog (walau Cuma beberapa yang memutuskan untuk ngurusin blognya sementara yang lainnya auk kemana). Gue ngerasa gak bebas lagi cerita mengenai hidup gue, mengenai masalah gue, mengenai sekolah gue (semenjak gue ngerasa pak Bardos spying on our blog. Gue Cuma menulis kemungkinan sih. Belom pasti juga. Tapi tetep aja gue takut kalo gue cerita soal guru x, besokannya si guru x ngehukum gue. LUCU BANGET!), mengenai cinta gue (yang kalo gue curhat gue udah jadian pasti ribet dimintain PJ, yang kalo gue curhat gue udah putus anak2 sekolah yang baca bakal ngingetin gue terus walo tujuannya baik, turut bersedih, etc. tapi sekali lagi gue Cuma nulis kemungkinan aja). Dan bukan menutup kemungkinan bahwa mungkin suatu saat nanti gue bakal pindah blog dan blog ini gue tutup. Tapi gak tau juga kapan dan gak tau juga jadi apa ngga. Gue Cuma nulis kemungkinannya aja.

Udah dong aw, gak usah bersedih gitu baca postingan gue. Hahaha xD. Mungkin gue Cuma bakal sedikit berubah, jadi sedikit sulit buat dihubungin. Cuma itu aja kok, kalo liburan gue pasti bakal comeback. Dan mudah2an gue gak jadi pindah blog ato menutup blog ini, gue juga males ngulang dari awal lagi, lagipula teman2 blogger yang demen ngomen macam winniiee, ajeng, dinda, juneou, dan yang lainnya udah PW banget ma gue. Hehehe xD.doain aja dehyaaa… lagipula gue kan Cuma manusia biasa, bukan manusiaSUPER (SUPERlebay iya). Gue pasti bakal tetep ngasih kabar kok walo bakal jaraaaaang……… banget. Hihiihihi :D ohyah, mumpung gue sempet oel, gue mo puas2in cerita aaah sebelum udah gak bisa lagi :p and oh yeaahh! I've changed my blogskin. dunno why I'm bored with the previous one. gue tau yang ini juga lame abis, ada suzuki-chan ato siapalah itu. tapi yang penting kan biru. ntar deh kalo skin gue udah jadi gue lapor2 sama kalian. halah, itupun kalo gue masih inget password n email blog sayangku ini. hahihuheho xp

Trustrus… Kemaren pagi si mantan sayang *halah*, si I telepon gue. I know it may sound a little weird, dia telepon gue jam 3pagi. Hahaha xD gak ngerti apabanget dehyaaa dia nelepon gue jam segitu tapi tetep aja gue ladenin mumpung lagi libur. Eh eh eh. Liburan gue belajar masak sama bikin kue loh, tapi entah kenapa yah gue gak suka makan masakan gue sendiri. Hihihi :D kasian tuh kue udah dibikin banyak2 gue cuekin ending2nya. Yang berminat kerumah gue aja, ada putri salju, nastar, kue pisang, choco chips, kacang coklat, dan lain2. Tapi jangan tanya blackforestnya udah gue abisin. Hahahahahahahahaha *ketawa jaat*

eh iya, here's my 2oo9's resolution. hope I could do it well... :)
ehyah, gue juga dapet award dari si wida. yaampun, baik banget deh diaaaa :)

here the rules :

put this logo on your blog
answer this question!

1. what is your main reason to make a blog?
** waktu itu idup gue lagi empet banget dah ah. and I have no one to share. jadinya gue bikin blog deh. hahaha xD jelek banget yah alasan gue?
2. whose blog that you visit first after you make your own blog?
**rama's
3. tag 5 people who you visit often
** winniiee, cendol, rama, wida, dinda

write your name here!
this award has given to you through this people :
1. Doubleyouaidiei, 2. anne, 3. [put you name and your link here]

Well, see you around then… if you miss me, well… titip salam ajadeh ma cendol apa ngga rama. They’re kan my bestieeesss… satu sekolah pula, jadi masih gampang gitu dah kontak2an ma gue. Cailah kea bakal ada aja yang kangen ma gua! Hahahahahah xD and, oh yeah! I will definitely miss you all guys… pasti bakal kangen banget curhat sama blogku sayang ini yang entah bakal sampai kapan gue tinggal… bye… :’)

ps : sumprit gue lupa banget ngerjain PR ato award yang udah keburu gue sebar. nih dah gue kasih poto najong gue. no editting, gak dimacem2in... baca doa dulu yaaaa... :p

nyanyinyunyenyo
apabangetdeh tampang gue. bulet+ketek kemana2+burem+noise segambreng. ckckck -__-" maklum ajayah, gue poto dari my baby w910i, kaga ada autofocus ato flash ato apalah itu yang berguna ngebagusin poto dikit. maap yah kalo gue jelek T_T noh. udah selesay dah tuh utang PR gue. ohyah, gue juga dapet award. sekalian aja ah majangnya... :p

ini gue dapet dari dindaaaaa :), thankies banget yaaah darliiiiiiiiinnnnggg.... :D gue udah ngarep2 banget nih dapet ni award, gak tau kenapa, lucu banget ajaaa... hih, gemes deh aw... *apasihnne?*

Ada rulesnya doong :
1. pajang award ini di blog anda!
sudah!
2. beri judul "the unique award" pada judul postingan anda!
haduu... jangan dongyaahh... gak enak masa judulnya entar jadi *maybe* last post and the unique award... tapi, iyaajadeh gue tambain. biar puas yang punya ni award. owner aslinya sapa sih woy?
3. jawab tiga pertanyaan ini :
-, Benda unik apa yang lo punya?
apaan yak? heeeemmm...gue punya benda unik yang kalo dipencet bisa nyala, bisa bunyi, bisa diajak maen, eh itumah hape yah. ya itulah! gue gak punya benda unik! cukup guenya aja yang unik :p
-, Apakah elo mengoleksi benda2 unik? Kalau iya sebutkan apa saja!
gue tidak mengoleksi benda2 unik. tapi gue punya temen2 yang SUPERunik dan SUPERaneh. gue juga gak ngerti deh aw gimana gue bisa ketemu orang2 macam mereka -__-"
-, Apa penyebab elo bisa membuat dan mempunyai blog yang 'unik' ini ?
kenapa eh kenapa? kenapa? ya gue juga gak tau... hahahaha XD intinya gue butuh tong sampah buat gue curhatin. ternyata eh ternyata yang keluar malah tulisan2 autis begini. ya begitulah saudara yunikewerd...
4. Berikan award ini kepada blogger lainnya yg punya blog unik sprti punya lo ! (bole brapa aja)!
Okedeeeh : mello + wida + sisil + reena + alia + juneou + cendol
dddddddddooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :DD

BlahBlahBlah, d*mn love story!

2008-12-09T22:27:00.002+07:00

I've been thought about this for, like a whole week... This broke up thing is just get in my mind anytime I've got nothing to thought about... What's happen to me? Do I want to clean up this mess and try to do it all over again? I DON'T KNOW. He just, has broke my heart like a thousand times, but why am I sooo stupid? Still waiting for one stupid shot, nne? One-last-stupid-shot that could change everything? I guess it doesn't even exist. Back to all that good times yesterday, when those heartbeats, those smiles, and those dreams still exist. But what am I waiting for? Even after one year and two months my name NEVER get any chance to be in his heart even for one second. For god-sake-JUST-one-second! It DOES hurt me really deep, and there's no other boys have ever done it to me. But once again, let me spell it, I am a S-T-U-P-I-D girl. What do I see from a guy like him..? Regularly, normal girl would say 'NOTHING', but why I say 'EVERYTHING'? There's also thousands questions about him that I could never answer. Somebody please, tell me what is wrong with me..? Or is there anyone that could take my heart away and throw it somewhere that I don't know so I can't track it back and nobody could take it back and hurt it anymore? I'm just getting tired of all this situation and disapointed with my little-stupid-broken heart.

homework and award ^^

2008-12-09T10:26:00.003+07:00

oh well... gue baru pertama kali ini dapet awardd... jadi agak2 norak gitu juga dehhhh... ahehehehe xp

thankies buat Winnie, Dinda dan Cendolll untuk power blognyaaaa :)
And here are the rules:

1. Each blogger must post this rules!
[Udah woo woo woo]
2. You need to choose ten people to be awarded and list their names!
[okay... blogger yang beruntung untuk dapet award dari gue iniii adallaaahhh... *kak almus*, *chelle*, *kak enad*, *gita*, *juneou*, *kristy*, *lynn*, *no name*, *rama*, dan *tannya*. CONGRATZ! :D]
3. Don't forget to leave them comment telling they've been tagged and read your blog!
[sippooo...]

and the next award from Sisil. thankies yaaa cantiiikkk :DD

Terus ini syarat syarat nya:
1. Put the award logo on your blog
[suuddaaa]
2. Add the link of the person who gave this award
[suddaaa... moga makin laku yah sil blogmuu... hihihi xD]
3. Nominate another seven
[seven?? hmmm... siapa yaaa...?? okey. *tiara kami*, *rama*, *kak enad*, *reena*, *cendol*, *hana*, *wiinniiee*]
4. Leave message to the nominees
[siplaaaa]

next oonnn... dari sii cendolll... tentang happy sevennyaaa. hihihi. gue disuruh cerita soal lopp story. apa yang musti gue ceritain??? hihihi.
[REMOVED]

dan yang beruntung kedapetan award ini adalaahhh :
*winnie*
*rama*
*kak almus*
*chelle*
*reena*
*kak enad*
*gita*
Rules nya ni ya:
1. Everyone who get this award are obliged to write their recent love story in their new post &post these rules.
2. Everyone who get this award are obliged to tag 7 of your friends who have an unique love story to be shared then they must do what you do as well.

PS: These award are under license of Cindy Perdana Computeria & Fediani Putri Andarini so you must certify that you have the right to distribute & you do not violate the rules.
(Contact Persons : Cindy Perdana Computeria (Cendol) & Fediani Putri Andarini (Hana)

i also got homework from Reena... thankiess darliinnnggg :)

1. nama skul km?

*SMANTILA JAKARTA SELATAN.

2. nama ketua kls km?

*Imam Harmain, as known as, MACCACCA MACIMMULATA. hehehe xp

3. jabatan km di kls?

*anggota kelas IPA 3 yang manis, baik, rajin belajar, serta murah senyum :)

4. guru yg paling killer?

*buk tiar. padahal gak selalu juga sih. hihihi

5. nama kepse2k km?

*bapak Drs. Arphan Lubis

6. nama wakepsek km?

*DJ umat sama buk Dianne. hihihi

7. pernah jd ktua kls?

*ahahahah xD gue autis giiniii... ya enggak pernah lah!

8. pel yg paling gak sk?
*pelajaran yang ribet, minta yang macem2, gurunya ngemalesin. gitu dah. takut dibaca gurunya.

9. keg rutin km di kls?

*belajar, ngupil, foto dipantat guru kalo lagi nungging, tidur kalo udah males ngeliat gurunya. sama lah sama yang lain.

10.pernah di skors

*ya enggaklah. gue gak sebandel itu juga kali.

11.sering di hukum?

*gak juga ah. kan gue pelajar yang baiiikkk... :p

12.sering bwt PR di skul?

*ahahaha gue banget itumah!

13.tmpt du2k di atur gak?

*enggak kok. tapi di rolling.

14.no absen km?

08. sering kena sial duluan dah... ckckck

15.km jurusan IPA/IPS/BHS?

*IPA. dan honestly... SAYA MENYESALI PILIHAN SAYA INI. tapi mau gimana lagi... udah terlanjur basahh... (weitz?)

16.sk bolos gak?

*kagak. gue mah sayang uang! udah bayar sekolah mahal2 diskip gitu aja, emangnya bapak gue celengan semarr??!!!

17.sering rame?

*sering banget! malah keliatannya jadinya gue autis sendiri...

18.ad adek kls yg rese?

*sapa yak? ooohhh ada! si nonna sok eksis! huuueekkk....

19.klo kk kls?

*mbak herder anak talam! mamam tuh jelek!

20.blh bw hp ke skul?

*boleh lah, kalo gak boleh bawa cobek aja. gue biasa pake dua2nya kok.

21.pernah brantem di skul?

*pernaaahhh... waktu SMP sampe gebuk2an pake kamus... wwiihhiiyy!

22.pel yg paling km sk?

*fisika doang. hehehehe. sama pelajaran kosong. wakakaka xD

23.tmpt fave di skul?

*kelas dong. kan rajin belajarr... (cuih!) tapi emang iya sih.

24.ad kantin gak?

ada laaahh... masa gak ada. ABAL banget dongyah sekolah gue??

25.sk langgar praturan gak?

*kayaknya engga juga deh. kalo sering ngupil di kelas ato sering foto lewat pantat guru yang nungging itu dibilang pelanggaran berarti ya gue suka ngelanggar peraturan. hihihihi xD

26.baju sk di kluarin?

*ho oh. gak ngerti juga napa dan kata bang ichal baju itu emang HARUS diluar... (yaiyalah! masa luarannya beha??)

27.sk nyontek?
*ih pertanyaannya dodol ahh... YAIYALAH!

28.nama panggilan km di skul?

*anne, adne, ade, rosalinda (nyahahaha xD. iyah, akibat drama b.indo itu nama gue jadi rosalinda beneran)

29.pesen bwt angkatan di bwh km?

*hmmm... rajin belajar yaaa... trus buat yang pengen masuk ipaaa... TOLONG DIPIKIR2 ULANG LAGI. jadi anak ipa itu gak semudah yang kalian pelajarin. apa yang udah kalian pelajarin di kelas satu belom tentu sama gampangnya sama yang di kelas dua. (contoh murid yang menyesal masuk ipa. hihihihi)

30.tag?
* cendoll
* hanna
* anya

okayy... i guess that's all... thankies yang udah bacaaa... plus yang udah di tag harap dijemput+dikerjakaann yaa PRnyaaa... love y'all guysss... :) ditunggu loh komennya...

break up :')

2008-12-01T13:42:00.002+07:00

Well, sorry baru bisa ngepost mengenai ini sekarang. Sebenarnya kejadiannya udah lumayan lama (sampe gue pun lupa tanggal berapa), yang jelas sekitar dua minggu yang lalu. I need to take some time to patch my self up in this kind of ‘new’ condition. Gue butuh waktu untuk meredam emosi gue. Gue gak pengen begitu kejadian langsung gue post seenak jidat dan akhirnya gue sendiri nantinya yang rugi, you know, since blog is totally a-must-have-item in my school.

Awalnya dari kejadian kecil, biasalah, salah paham. Gak terlalu penting juga gue jelasin rincinya, intinya waktu itu dia salah paham sama maksud sms gue dan jadi marah, gue yang jelas-jelas bermaksud baik malah diomelin jelas gak terima, dan perlu dicatet, kata temen deket gue kebanyakan sikap gue kekanak-kanakan banget dan kadang kalo lagi kambuh sikap gue itu unacceptable banget, dan sikap gue itu kambuh pas dia lagi emosi. Jelas akhirnya berujung masalah yang lebih besar, dan karena gue tipe orang yang gak gitu suka ngeributin masalah lewat sms, semua sms dia gue cuekin. Gue tau gue salah gak ngebales satupun sms dari dia, tapi dalam pikiran gue (yang terkadang masih kekanak-kanakan itu) “what’s the big deal? Cuma perkara sms gak dibales doang…”. Dan ternyata gue salah, it IS A BIG DEAL for him, and I DO NOT REALIZE what I’ve done and what thing I will go through. Gue akui, gue salah banget, entah gimana menurut orang lain. Tapi, tolong dong! Gue itu cewenya (or should I say, his FORMER girlfriend), butuh pengertian juga, dan ini juga yang jadi alasan gue break up sama dia, kita berdua sama-sama kepala batu, gak ada yang mau ngalah duluan.

Setelah beberapa sms dari dia gue cuekin dan gue gak menunjukkan sikap pengen ngomongin masalah salah paham yang kemaren, gue tau banget, dia pasti kesel. Cuma lagi-lagi gue bersikap bego dan gak menyadari kesalahan besar apa yang udah gue perbuat, gue tau banget dia kecewa sama sikap gue yang kesannya gak mau nyelesain masalahnya. Let me get this clear, banyak banget kesalahpahaman antara gue dan dia, dan gue akui, kebanyakan gue yang salah makanya kita salah paham mulu, let me list them:
1. gue diem dan gak ngebales sms-sms dia bukan gara-gara gue udah bener-bener marah dan muak sama dia, ITU SALAH BANGET! Gue diem karena gue ngasih dia waktu buat mikir lagi, buat introspeksi diri, buat explore lagi apa yang salah, dan kalo dia udah selesai, gue siap ngedengerin dia kok. I NEVER angry with him, NEVER! Dan ternyata lagi-lagi salah paham, dia gak ngerti sama sikap ‘diam’ gue itu, dan mengartikan sikap gue itu sebagai wujud kalo gue udah males jalan sama dia. Kalo dipikir-pikir lagi, IYA GUE YANG SALAH, iya gue yang salah banget gak ngasih tau dia kenapa gue diem dan ngebiarin dia bingung apa maksud gue dengan nyuekin dia.

2. gue selalu bilang “terserah kamu aja”. I make it up to him doesn’t mean I don’t have my own opinion, tapi gue cenderung diem and let him lead the walk karena gue gak mau ngebuat dia ngerasa gak nyaman sama yang kita jalanin. Dan lagi-lagi gue salah, dia malah jadi mikir kalo gue ogah berurusan lagi sama dia, even until the words ‘break up’ spitted out.

Dan setelah gue pikir-pikir lagi, how stupid I am?! Hhh… If I ever had another chance to speak to him, I’d probably say “surely baby, there’s nothing wrong with me (that time). There’s no hurt feeling or anything else, I just gave you some time to stand back, review, and when you’re ready to comeback, then I’ll be ready too…”. But it seems like a really silly wish, I would never have any chance to say it to him.

Now everything’s over. Banyak juga yang nanya-nanya sama gue setelah gue putus, banyak pertanyaan yang (kemaren) sebagian besar gak bisa gue jawab, tapi yang pertanyaan yang paling banyak ditanyain ke gue itu “lo masih sayang sama dia?”. Honestly, sampe sekarang pun gue masih ragu ngejawabnya, but I’d probably answer “no. I’ve already had enough from the whole last year about those ‘love’ things with him”. Satu tahun udah lebih dari cukup buat gue untuk berurusan sama dia walaupun kenyataannya kita baru bareng selama 2 bulan. Dan pertanyaan kedua yang paling banyak ditanyain adalah, “lo nangis waktu putus sama dia?”. Oh please, I’m not that pathetic. I think my age is not suitable to crying on those silly things. TAPI, gue berpikir kea gitu cuma selama tenggat waktu pas dia mutusin dan sebelum kita ngomong. Setelah gue ngomong langsung sama dia, which really has ripped my heart, dua kalimat itu ilang auk kemana. I did cry after he hit the table on the canteen, I did realize that I’ve really hurt him, and one thing for sure, I still have a heart even though it seems that I’m not, so I do feel guilty even until now. Get the point? Gue ngepost ini karena sampe saat ini pun gue masih ngerasa punya salah sama dia.

And this last paragraph is dedicated to him. If you read this (which is almost impossible), I’m apologize for every wound and mistake that I’ve made. I’m sorry too cause I can’t make it face to face with you, honestly, I’m too pathetic to see your face and say all these things until the very last one without crying. And you know what? This line has really got stuck on my head, it is from Vertical Horizon in their song titled Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning). Here it is: “and it may take some time to patch me up inside. And I can’t take it so I run away and hide. And I may find in time that YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. You’re always right.” and “but it’s not so bad, you’re only the best I ever had. I don’t want you back, you’re just the best I ever had.” and my tear start to drown me in sadness again. Thanks for everything, these two months really has taught me to be patient, not to be such a kiddos anymore, to understand those things that hasn’t mentioned yet, and absolutely has taught me how to love you sincerely with everything inside and outside you. :’)

euforia blog!

2008-11-21T14:10:00.003+07:00

angkatan gue mendadak kena euforia blog gitu dikarenakan tugas dari pak bardos (hallo pak :D)
dikelas pada ribet sendiri bikin blog, dan gue yang udah bikin dari kapan tau kena batunya disuruh bantu-bantu [macam babu. halo guys! xD] dan mereka itu ribut BANGET. gue termasuk salah satu oknum penyebab keributan sih. hehehe. tapi jadinya itu berisik banget dan bahkan pak bardos pun turun tangan [yang intinya sih gak ngaruh juga buat kelas gue]
maav yah pak. dan muncullah satu ideologi baru setelah "kalo anak ipa remed sejarah itu biasa. tapi kalo kimia, biologi, fisika, sampe matematika juga? ITU LEBIH WAJAR!", dan lagi-lagi oknum yang bersalah itu gue, gara-gara gue sering bilang "sini tulis sendiri alamat blog lo! budayakan tulis sendiri!", jadilah sekelas gak cuma teriak-teriak tapi juga jalan-jalan. yaolohhh... kayaknya gue ngerasa bersalah banget gitu.

eh udah bel. pulang dulu ah. udah pada bubaran. hehehe. see you all in the future.. hehehe
maap pak bardos buat keributan yang telah saya timbulkan... maaf pak... caao!